Saturday, November 29, 2003
Today was great. The whole group in charge of games for the chalet sat down and discussed exactly what we wanted to play. They accepted my game! So cool! I adapted it from the game I played in the TAF camp in secondary 1 and put in bits from Survivor as well. Hopefully, this game will hit off with the band members. It's not really what I had in mind, but it's more or less alike, so I'm pretty much ok with it.
I never knew so many people bore grudges against him. And from the way I see it, mine with him seems rather mild. Well, why do I even care? I'll keep out of his way and he'll keep out of mine...I hope.
Lolz, You Shun and I started this Joanna thingy just a couple of days ago and we giggle and laugh everytime I or he says the name. Haha! Then Wei Jie, Guang Liang, Tun Kuang and Zhi Quan all want to know about Joanna but they just don't get it. They keep thinking that when You Shun and I talk about Joanna, it's a third person, but actually it isn't. Oh well, if you guys ever read this, try and guess who we're talking about.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Feeling this horrible sense of emptiness within me now. I'm trying to change myself and while doing so, I'm digging out whatever that was in me. I'm desperate for something to fill me up. I just feel so hollow, so empty. I want to do something constructive, and I hope to do it with my friends, even if it's homework. I hope to start next year as a new person, and totally abandon the side of me that has caused me so much trouble and saddness, and in a way start afresh. I'm really starting to hate and despise myself for who I am...
Today's Istana performance was quite ok. It actually poured after we played "Singin' in the Rain", unlike what Miss Yip said about a slight drizzle. Then on the bus we ate curry puffs. I ate 3! :P I was so hungry then. But after that, while having lunch with Andrew, found that I didn't have much of an appetite.
Good news! I'm getting fatter again. I can actually feel myself expanding like a balloon. But that's good, since I'll be more comfortable to lie on now.
Monday, November 24, 2003
Am I really going to let him affect my relationship with my other friends? Now that I really am trying to change myself, will my old impression on others remain as it was, because his impression of me has not and will not change? I really don't want others to think of me as arrogant and whatnot anymore. I really want to change, and this time, it's really not just talk, I am trying to curb my tongue and my attitude. I need this chance, but will I ever get it? Or have people already given me many chances but I have let them slip past without even knowing so? My relationship with other people have gotten a teensy-weensy bit better and I really hope it doesn't go sour ever again. Yet he's explicitly told me not to ask to join them if I'm not invited and I do know that, but has it ever crossed his mind that I would also like to be around them as well? They're not just your friends...
Fine, so I tried, but since he's not willing, then there's really nothing left for me to do. I'm not going to waste anymore time or effort trying to do it, since I really do turn him off. Just hope there won't be too much friction between us in the organisation of the games. He promises that he won't let personal stuff affect band and school, so I suppose the friction won't be that great I suppose. But, his replies (two) were in a way really hurting to me, bet he really took the time and pleasure to go out of his way to hurt me. But what done is done, cannot be undone, so what the hell. Just chuck to the back of my head and hope it gets buried there for the next 50 years. But I've said it before and I'll still say it again. I would have wanted to be a friend of his and vice versa.
Tomorrow's the Istana performance and the concert's next week. Time has really flown and now that it's here, it all seems to have gone in a flash. Hope my flute and piccolo don't die on me tomorrow. Today, both of them just screwed up on me and I totally freaked out. The same thing had better not happen again tomorrow, or on next Friday for that matter.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
I'm starting to feel like Siti. I wish I could hit the rewind button right now. And not just to go back to the beginning of this year, but the beginning of my secondary school years.
I just wish I could make it up to the people who have had the bad luck of knowing me and my attitude. My attitude these few years has been totally rotten, and now that I really realise it, I really want to try my best to change, but this damned tongue of mine just runs away from me and I always say things I deeply regret afterwards. I do want to try to curb my tongue and change my attitude. I do......
Saturday, November 15, 2003
Had this really horrible nightmare last night. And of all people I had to have a nightmare about, it had to be her. Really hope whatever that happened in my dream never EVER happens.
Today's sectionals was quite pleasant. One of my juniors managed to get the rough skeleton of two new pieces in about two hours! So happy! :D Then I collected the result slips of the juniors. Imagine my astonishment when I saw the junior who's playing sets music back twenty years got the first in class! But now she's improving, so all in all, I'm quite pleased with my section today. Hopefully, they'll be able to progress at this pace. Then at least I'd be able to answer to my seniors then.
Friday, November 14, 2003
Next week's band is going to clash with the ex-2B1 chalet. Clash two days leh, kaoz. But then again, I guess I'm not really in the position to complain, as lots of other ppl got Maths and stuff which is going to disrupt the chalet as well. And why are we having all of these lessons and stuff? SARS!
Hoping to catch "Looney tunes - back in action" this holidays. "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" won't be coming out till the 4th of June. Still so long...but I'm sure it'll be worth the wait. So it's all talk talk talk now. Whether I'll have the money to actually DO all these things is another issue all together. Haiz~
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
After what seems like aeons, I finally have my own blog. And it's all thanks to yicher, the person who has single-handedly helped me to make this blog what you see now. Thanks a lot, pal!!!
The 3D1 chalet was simply great. The Aranda country club's executive suite's bedroom is the size of a room in Downtown East. Get the idea? For an executive suite it's two bedrooms AND a living room. Did I mention they have a kitchen as well? So all in all, it definitely was more comfortable over at Aranda.
Three days of chalet passed just like that. It seemed like ages while it lasted, but now that it's over, it all seems to have gone in a flash. Half the time we were awake, we played cards. Blackjack and daidee ruled the many hours of daylight and moonlight then. And here's a word of advice for all those who aspire to play card games in future chalets. Quit while you're on a winning streak while Lady Luck is still smiling at you, otherwise get ready to start distributing sheafs of IOUs to dozens of people. Trust me, I know.
Two more chalets coming up in the next four weeks and the next one is up next week. Hope I'll live to tell the tale. Sheesh.
