As expected, I got the lowest in class for maths test... Stupid MI and fukin trigo... I HATE MATHS.... Maths F, Physics E and Chemistry C... Wad kinda s2pid grades are these man....... I reli gotta pia my guts out this June hols... I'm giving tuition but I nid tutoring myself... Talk abt irony eh? I reli bu fu lorz... Some ppl can jz get their grades without working at all... I've seen them slack like nobody's business but they still get reasonable grades lorz... WTF LA... I'm reli super angry abt this lorz... I reli wana do well in my studies but i jz aint doin it this semester... I've got one mth ahead of mi to pia... i'm reli determined to achieve this breakthrough in my studies!!!!!! (But maths and physics still sux... Duno y i took physics in the first place...)
I run away from all this in my ycf trainings... I dance, I laugh, I shout, I talk, I immerse myself in the fun of trainings... and numb myself from the pain and monotony of my studies... Pity... I can't run away from them forever.... I noe I can run away but it'll nv solve the problems... I nid to face dem, fight them and eventually conquer dem... But I'm reli too tired to do so... I reli feel lyk letting go.... The fatigue, the stress, the pain... I chant... and I'm reli hopin tt i can haf my human revolution too... I dun eva wana sink into depression again... It's reli such a terrible feeling... But I'm reli afraid...
I can smell it... That horribly familiar sulphurous smell... That shadow of his cloak flashes by me... and my heart turns cold with fear and despair... It is he... It is he... It is he... He, who has left such a deep scar within my heart and soul... One which I will never fully recover from... Keep him away from me please... Please... My best friend... Get him away... ='(
It's really very demoralising at times... I do my very best to score in my tests and I flunk like shit but others who dun work at all can score so damn well!!! where's the justice? maths is gonna b an F and guess what it stands for? physics was an E... guess bio and chem aint gonna b any betta... why the hell did i take 4 subs? why the hell did i take triple science? why the hell am i whining? i'm reli scared i cmi for year 1... i jz wan one yr to do my yr one thnx...
Starion jz told mi today my dear fellow flautist hui min is jumping over to euphonium, meaning i'm the onli one left in the section in year 1 who noes how 2 play the flute, and guess wad? i got 3 new flute mates coming in and if i aint mistaken, shld b all gers.... jia lat la... wad 2 do? haiz....
On the other hand, ycf trainings have been the main reason why i can continue and go thru wif this hellish and vicious cycle which im trapped in every week... We laugh and joke shamelessly at each other and when we're the butt of the jokes, we jz luff along wif everybody else... all the stress is relieved and i jz feel so at ease... u guys totalli rox man....
ALUMNI BAND ROX!!! Hahaha... All the stress I'm under from Monday to Friday seems to vanish into thin air when I go for alumni band prac... yesterday wuz listening to ying shan talk abt her pri 1 and 5 students... Laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh like a maniac sia... Pengz liaoz... Den listen to cheli talk abt her teachin life... oso quite amusin... makes mi all the more wana b a tchr~!
B4 tt wuz listenin to Jarrod singing... Gosh... he's quite a singer... jz tt he likes to b
hyper dramatic when it comes to it... emphasis on the hyper... Lolz...
Den the pieces they playin oso quite nice wor... U guys out there muz come support us har... 17th JUNE!!!
