Maybe I've watched too many corny idol dramas in the past, to the extent I see these cliched scenes play through my mind. The couple somehow has to undergo certain 'trials and tribulations' before they can come together, which they usually do. Audiences can't seem to take to well to unhappy endings, especially if they involve a certain idol they love. Scenes like when a couple walk into a shop and just so coincidentally bump into the female lead's ex-bf and you see the face of the male lead change on the spot. Or when the male lead gets injured trying to protect the female lead and the female lead cries her eyes out over him while he is unconscious and when he does wake up she wears herself out taking care of him or vice versa.
I think the reason why these scenes are cliched yet still attracts audiences is because it's a situation that we all fantasise ourselves in, especially teenagers. It's something ideal that will always and will only happen on tv screens. So I'm sure despite so many people criticising that all this is so cliche and everything, deep down inside, we still like to think about stuff like this...
Life is boring nowadays...
Feeling emo? I thought I was past that age already. Why should I feel emo? Lolz. Must due to disappointment ba. Promises. What promises? Ha.
Now got to settle all the admin stuff for my teaching scholarship. It really isn't easy trying to get the government's money. =S
I need to learn to see the grey, and not just the black and white. Not being so emotional does not mean being an emotionless freak. There is always a compromise.
The Grimreaper paces forward, robes swirling out in a dark mist. Fresh blood creeps along the ground, as if seeking refuge from its source. The Grimreaper's face stretches in an evil smirk. Feed of the day. The lone soul lingers above the lifeless body, almost as if beckoning to the Grimreaper. Take me. The Grimreaper raises a hand, curls a clawed finger. The soul dissolves like breath in mist, leaving the body spread across the cold, dark concrete. In a flash of dark fire, the Grimreaper becomes one with the velvet night. From behind the pillar, a lone, winged figure holding a bow sobs into his hands...
Just because I know I have to accept a fact doesn't meant I'm not entitled to being disappointed. Of course, I will definitely go with my head and agree that this is for the best of everybody but nothing will relieve that aching disappointment in my heart. Who can understand me? Who can truly understand? I doubt even Shan Shan can really understand everything that I'm feeling right now. Yes, for the good of everybody, this production should indeed be pushed to next year. I concede and accept it. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. In fact, I hate it! I HATE THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO WAIT TILL I'M NO LONGER IN ASD THAT I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO IT!!! THE FEELING JUST WON'T BE THE SAME ANYMORE!!! WHY CAN'T ANYONE SEEM TO COMPREHEND THAT? Why can't anyone see it from my point of view?
Why does my thinking have to be so black and white? I hate it. I HATE IT!!! I want to be able to convince myself to see the grey too. Am I so blind as to not be able to see it?
My life condition really is at an all time low now. I'm really very disappointed. Yet I have to smile and put on a brave front in front of my IICs because I know, if I were to appear sad and disappointed, they will drag me one side and do their best to give me encouragement. I don't need encouragement now. What I need is some time to myself and someone who really and truly understands and sympathises with me.
Can I have a big teddy bear hug me to sleep? Even big guys like me need a hug sometimes. I want something to snuggle against and feel comforted by. Yes, I need a big, plush teddy bear to hug me and cuddle me when I sleep tonight. To hold me in one piece before my disappointment shatters me to smithereens.
My nose is doing a marathon for the first time in don't know how many weeks. I hate this!!! hate it when i perspire and have a runny nose at the same time! the feeling is SO GAO WEI!!!
1 more month to ORD... can't wait...
I really want this ASD production to come through... but do I really want it for the right reasons? Shan Shan's email really set me thinking... do i just want this production for my own selfish desire? to fulfill my own dreams? or do i want it for my members? do i have the courage to face up to these questions?
are you number 3? please don't be. i don't think i can stand it a third time. please...
I love CT's To Kill A Mockingbird Musical!!! I'm so so so glad that I read the book before I went for the musical because sure enough, almost everyone who didn't read the book couldn't understand a single thing that they were talking about, and the fact that the PA system was screwed up didn't help~! =S But there're a few, in fact quite a lot, of characters I want to highlight and praise here.
1. Calpurnia (played by Jasvinder)
I don't care that she didn't have many lines in the entire play, neither do I care that she isn't one of the main characters but Jasvinder totally did the character justice with her perfect accent of Calpurnia (of course nobody knows what Calpurnia sounds like but if I were to imagine her talking, it'd be something very close, almost identical, to what Jasvinder achieved on that day. The way she scolded Scout when Scout commented about her friend's way of eating at the table and the way she scolded the children when she saw them in the balcony watching the trial was just terrific and I really wish I could watch a replay of that. I can't stop raving about it even till now! GREAT JOB JAS!!!
2. Atticus (played by Brandon)
One of the main characters in the play, which naturally means he's one of the characters with the most lines. He also managed to pull it off almost perfectly (yes he did forget a few lines but hey, you try memorising all those lines) and I really was impressed especially with the courthouse scene, where Atticus was addressing the entire courthouse and impressing upon them how their racism against blacks was just plain wrong but people then refused to face up to that fact. I thought that was just wonderful. Imagine you standing alone (almost literally, since Atticus was in the front and the other characters made up the background) and saying all those lines with gusto in front of so many people. The line from Atticus that struck me the most was "...I've lived my life so that I can look that boy (Jem Finch) back squarely in the face... (or something to that effect)". I thought he could have pulled it off a little better but it was still a good attempt!
3. Older Jean Louise Finch a.k.a. Scout (played by Min Wei)
She's the narrator of the entire play. Again, due to the screwed PA system, couldn't hear her very clearly, thus the flow of the play wasn't very clear and disrupted here and there but on the whole she really did quite well. Mind you, narrators usually hold the scripts but she doesn't. So she also basically had to swallow her part of her script wholesale too. And her solo song on stage was great too!
4. Younger Jean Louise Finch a.k.a. Scout (played by Janice)
I don't really know how to describe her performance. I love the way Scout's personality was brought alive by her and the way Jem and her complemented each other so well. I'm really at a loss of what to say for her but really, it was a pleasure seeing Scout come alive in her.
5. Nathan Radley/Mr. Gilmer (played by Darrin)
For Nathan Radley, I don't suppose I can say anything, except that I laughed a little at his monotonous voice in his one or two-liner when he was filling the hole in the tree with cement. But for Mr. Gilmer, I think Darrin really did a good job with that. His tone was really dripping sarcasm and venom and if he could have made it sound just a little bit more natural, he'd have people wanting to rip him to pieces, which is what he's supposed to achieve, for all those who don't know, Mr. Gilmer's the bad guy, the prosecuting lawyer who's in charge of prosecuting Tom Robinson.
6. Mrs. Dubose (played by Annabel)
I couldn't imagine at first how Annabel was going to pull off such a foul character but she did and she did it really well! Like I said on my Facebook pics comment, the next time I read the book, I'll probably hear Annabel's voice when I read about Mrs. Dubose. Hahaha...
7. Stephanie Crawford (can't remember the name of the girl who played her)
Nothing much to say about her but she really does pull off the role of a gossip-monger quite well. ^_^
Ok ok, so much about To Kill A Mockingbird. Back to reality. Going for root canal treatment soon, which is going to cost me ~$700, NOT courtesy of SAF (sobz). Big big hole in pocket. Thank goodness the ~$1000 for my wisdom teeth extraction was completely courtesy of SAF. That really saved me a lot of money. Now really pray that this root canal treatment will be once and for all and it'll never give me any more problems in future.
Qisheng, Eleri and I were discussing the possibilities of having a Soka Elementary School and a Soka Secondary School today. Qisheng and Eleri were like super hyped up about it. I was more keen about the secondary school la, cuz I don't really like teaching in a primary school. Don't get me wrong, I just fear primary school kids more than they will fear me! Hahaha... Qisheng dreams of being the Principal of Soka Elementary School! I dream of being the HOD of Science for Soka Secondary School! And I sincerely believe this is not a dream that is unattainable. If they can have schools like Fairfield Methodist Secondary, Anglo-Chinese Junior College, Saint Andrews Junior College, why can't we have our own Soka Secondary or Soka Elementary? ^_^ I believe our generation will be able to make this dream come true!!! If Soka Secondary School is really set up, I will be the first teacher to apply for transfer over there to teach my beloved Chemistry! Hahaha... Imagine sitting in a staff room with your fellow SD comrades as your colleagues! Omg, I feeling so high now! LOLZ!!!
About 40 or so more days... ORD beckons...
my wound still hurts. pulling out these 2 teeth was no joke. whole nerve numb liaoz. as jasvinder said, now that i've extracted these teeth, wonder if i'll have less wisdom. hahaha. it didn't hurt like that the previous time. this time looks more serious. nerve injury is no joke. grrr...
looks like spending too much time at home isn't a good thing. will think too much. sometimes i see some of my friends been in so many relationships and i think to myself what makes it special after so many times? so this is girlfriend number 59254... no wait... 59255... isn't having a long lasting one better? look at sherman and xinrui... look at jun xiong n his gf... isn't it better to just stick with one and make it last? or is my way of thinking simply too outdated? no, i don't think so. what's wrong with staying with one? isn't that how it's supposed to work out in the end?
been thinking quite a bit about asd too. my batch de, i think gone for good le. i'm the only one who's still leeching onto asd. still leeching on to memories, past and present. well, i don't care whether i'm leeching or not. i owe my life now to asd and hell i'm gonna milk everything out of me for asd these last 4 months before i cross over to nussd. for those who choose not to be in asd, well it's your loss. i've forged so many great friendships with so many people in asd and i'm oso really happy and flattered to hear they'll miss me too. maybe this is one of the few places where i've succeeded ba.
i really agree with Maslow... his hierarchy of needs really does need to be taken into consideration. emotional needs come right after physical needs. guess who needs his emotional needs satisfied now?
signing off...
SD Anniversary has been a tremendous success!!!!!!!! I was so happy when I saw the hall filled for both sessions! My sharing also went very smoothly and it really is another victory for me and SD! Thanks guys, esp to Su Yi our 'big sister' for the panel sharing, Derui, Debrah, Xinyi, Hanyen and Xiao Ying, my fellow panelists! This has really been a wonderful experience! Really hope ASD will follow up with another wonderful event or campaign. I DON'T WANNA LOSE THIS MOMENTUM! After SD Anniversary ended, went out with 2 SUJ students with a couple of other ASD people. I think my Japanese has improved quite a bit! Though admittedly, we did speak in English like 80% of the time but still, I think the few times which I initiated the conversations in Japanese, they could understand quite well and we had quite a good chat too! Went for Alice's wedding with them the next day too. Haha, translated the whole of "Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye" for them to Katakana. >.< Hope to see you all again soon guys, Koichi, Toru (Hasegawa), Toru (Nozaki) and Tatsuya~!
Speaking of Japanese, I received my JLPT 4 results last week. 310/400. An average score la I suppose, since I got friends around me scoring like ~350. But I'm still grateful that I passed, considering how my listening was a blardy 59/100, which is a fail, cuz in Japan, the passing mark is 60%. But thank goodness they only look at the overall score for JLPT.
Also been thumbing through a couple of blogs of 4D1 ppl. ppl are still trying their best to fit into jc life, trying to get used to the shitload of work, trying to get used to the fact that sometimes (or most of the time, when exams come round) sleeping at 2am is not uncommon, trying to understand what is being taught in lectures, trying to get over the fact that they still miss ct life, etc. In other words, they've been trying very hard. And I really empathise with and sympathise them. Jiayou guys!
I find myself anticipating CT's "To Kill A Mockingbird" musical. I really do! It'll be really cool to have what I've been reading so far materialise in front of me. C'mon Jasvinder, I'm sure you can pull off the Calpurnia role with the angular 'style' that she has. ;) =DD
Extracting my remaining 2 wisdom teeth tomorrow... Wish me luck!
