It's finally Christmas Day... In fact, it's already drawing to an end... As usual, didn't do anithin reli special...but had hotplate dinner wif my family...felt full so quickly...den my bro kept moving away from the plate...scared the hot oil splash on him...LOLZ!!! gd for mi la...can kop more...

Feeling a bit worried now...really hope nothing happens...

HEY HEY HEY!!! Or shld i sae HO HO HO? MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!! TONIGHT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!!! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

Spending the night with your loved ones? Sharing the spirit together with your family? Or perhaps strolling down Orchard Road this festive season? Whatever it is, hope everybody enjoys themselves to the fullest!!! But better go home early...Santa might be paying you a visit...=P

Went back for band today. Quite fun actually... grilled dem for sectionals for onli half an hour though...but still kept their noses to their grindstone...Wahahahaha...Sounds veri sadistic hor... den after tat went for sectional lunch wif dem... ate pizza hut... den yu xian oso gort come (EXTRA! no la... we ask her to join us de la...)...den at pizza hut i nearly laughed my head off abt e stuff chloe was tellin mi abt at her clz chalet...now tink abt it... still feel lyk screaming wif laughter...Damn farnie lorz...afta tt went mac for dessert...laughed somemore...den went to buy a necklace for my mom...christmas comin ma...

den come back liaoz...siao liao la...kena stomachache...now still haven recover...='(...but worth it la...FLUTES ROX!!!

Finally received the results of my PAE posting. goin jjc...lyk practically everybody else... gona feel lyk ctss '05...lolz...

Haiz...i wuz e onli one frm sec 4 hu went for e alumni christmas party lorz...kinda paiseh...but moz of dem quite frenly la...esp my seniors!!! nili...ying shan...wilfred... den e conductor oso quite amiable...feel tt i reli gona enjoy myself if i do join e alumni...

Lalala~ Been veri bz these days... Giving tuition, going for chingay practices and preparing for the youth GM... Not bad... at least I'm not rotting anymore...

Going for 4D1 chalet dis wk... Got dis feeling of dread tat I'm gona eat a lot... Jia lat... =P

Suddenly feel dis surge of emotion within me... Suddenly feels like my best friend has come to pay a visit again... A long-term visit...

Has it just been wishful thinking on my part? I don't know. Probably. Is this just a phase I'm going through and will outgrow of? I certainly hope so. I just want to have a sense of security as well... A sense of belonging and maybe a touch of happiness...

Wish I could do like what I can do in the Sims, and set the clown's picture on fire. Maybe that'll make me feel better... Nobody really knows what's going on inside me, I guess...

Woohoo, grad nite rox! Nearly went blind tat nite...flash flash flash flash...@_@... was nearly late for the dinner =P den sat down wif the other 4d1 guys den hear jh and jon talk, laugh and lame...den finally wuz time we cld stuff our faces...surprisingly i ate quite little...mayb itz cuz i drank quite a bit ba...den afta tt took a few photos and chatted wif a lot of ppl...den had to go back into the room again...had a few toasts, had a lucky draw and crowned our prom king and queen, prince charming n princess charisma, best dressed sir and damsel and the court jester. comin to an end, we sang a few songs and lamed abt den finally ended and we went out to take more pics lorz...lyk i said...flash flash flash flash...@_@. went home wif andy, jie sheng and kaili. den on the taxi ride home gossip a bit and looked thru all the fotos we took...hahaha...grad nite rox!

Haiz... feelin veri guilty now... dis mth so mani ppl gort bdaes.... and i owe so mani ppl presents... audrey...shi qi(last mth de >_<)...jian nan...clara...and more...now broke le...headache sia...nxt mth oso gort more bdaes comin up...when will it eva end...

Haiz...the hols are less exciting den i tot dey wld b...life seems kinda aimless while nth is happening...but still gonna force myself to do certain things...like the ones stated below...

1. LOSE WEIGHT!!! (Reli sick and tired of being so fat...nt tt i mind ppl laughin at mi abt it but gettin veri tired of it le...some more i veri envious of all those skinny and handsome ppl...and i dun wana suffer in the army...so will try to slim down dis hols...otherwise can't seem to find clothes that'll fit me animore le...jia lat...i nid to lose 40 kg)

2. Grill my juniors for SYF next year!!! (OK u flautists, if you're reading this, you noe i mean it. haiz...miss band a lot...i tink my embrochure totally gone le...so mani mths nv play my beloved flute and piccolo liaoz)

3. Read wu xia xiao shuo (Seems kinda boring to most peeps out there but i do enjoy dem and i haven had the chance to read dem for the longest time, so reli gona grab dis chance)

4. Listen to songs that stir me on the inside (Reli hope to listen to songs that haf meaning in them. dun reli care who sang dem or wad genre dey r...jz wana indulge my ears in the music...yeah)

5. Compose a few tunes (Sounds a bit yan gao shou di and bhb hor...but i reli wana gif dis a shot. bin havin dis theme in my head for ages...bin wantin to translate it into a tune for ages...dunno if i'll succeed...muz try)

6. Dance para-para at the arcade (Again, dis sounds mad...but reli wana let myself loose dis hols...c wad mad things i can achieve...mayb dis is one of dem? hahaha)

7. Hang out wif frenz (Go out wif frenz ba...walk...laugh...take it as a form of exercise ba...if i haf a chance)

and last but not least...
8. PAP!!!!!!!!!! (PLAY AND PLAY!!!!!!)

Ok, so my hols look pretty well planned out...dunno if i can follow to it closely...esp the first one =P...

Phew! YAY! ^_^ O's are, after so long, finally over liaoz!!!! Now can slack at home, play, relac, joke, sleep, eat, drink or jz do wadeva i wan!!! I tink everyone's gonna celebrate too yeah? Go watch movies, go play soccer, go for chalets, go shop till you drop and lots lots more!!! HURRAY!!!!

It's reli strange and somewhat hurting when a feeling you've been feeling for such a long time jz suddenly vanishes from you and you realise you've gotta learn to live without it. Had this feeling deep within for 3 yrs le...now suddenly gone...feels kinda empty inside...hurts a little too...maybe it's cuz i'm still new and gettin used to the feelings ba...I dunno...jz feels reli reli weird...fear plays a small part too...but mostly emptiness i guess...*shrugs

Phew! The first week of o's over le!!! Taking the first breather I've had in ages... Gonna slack for the whole of today...den start pushing myself again tml and sunday...den e maths 2...

Lost so mani marks due to carelessness....both e maths and a maths......feel lyk cryin man......so blardy wasted....but nvm...wad's done cannot b undone........look forward to the next papers and make sure i dun fall for the same mistakes ba................

to all taking o's...GANBATTE!!!!!!!!!

Argh... curse Cambridge... of all the things to give us for bio prac...gif PRAWN!!! they veri rich hor... use our money and buy prawn... cannot buy fruits? seeds? stems? gif animal for wad.... 20+ years nv come out animal of all times come out in our year!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

There goes my bio prac.....

It's funny how time likes to tease you and play about with your emotions. The more you want it to slow down, the faster it gallops by. The more you want it to speed up, it moves slower den an apple snail. 4 years....2 years in 2B1, 2 yrs in 4D1.... we're nv gonna sit in the same classroom eva again...we're nv gona tease each other in the same way we did again...we're nv gona irritate the same tchrs the way we did again... all the de ja vous will be gone... suddenly feel so sad.... to the heck wif o's now...now jz feel lyk lettin my feelings engulf mi... sure, we're gona haf our chalets and stuff but somehow, it'll jz nv b the same again... it's a deep weight in my heart, pulling me down...and its got nth to do wif the fats i haf... like the song frm vitamin c goes 'you'd betta say it now cuz u dun haf another day...' do we reli dun haf another day? sigh....

Today's October 5th... sigh... time passes so quickly... i'm oreddy 15 years and 12 mths old liaoz.... muz b gettin old and staid... thanks to all ppl who haf given me your gd wishes... a special thanks to amanda, if you're reading this, for all that you have given me. The card was reli reli nice, cool and totalli hilarious. Thanks yeah! *Hugs =D

Surprisingly, I still haf the time to blog, especially since I shld b taking the time to do my revision, wif my chem prac startin on the 21st and officially startin wif chi on 1st nov... >.< Haiz, this time prelims was totally sucky... wif my L1R5, I dunno where I'm gona go for 1st 3 mths... but, like mr chiang said, better dun tink abt PAE for now. Focus on o's and push for the ultimate! Give your best everyone and gd luck to all of u for the comin o's. Might nt b bloggin for some time, until may b afta o's, so see you den...

Wah... today was the graduation ceremony for us graduands. Nearly died of laughter at the performance put up by the teachers. They really rocked today man. Totalli! See ms low, mr lau, mr ho, mr chiang and mrs cheang all on stage... nearly had a stitch from all that laughing. wah, all unbutton shirt, tuck out shirt, collar turned up, use hp in class. ms low call herself susie somemore. definitely gonna haf ppl teasing her abt it for the nxt 2 wks or so de la. sure de.

den in class, take photos! wah, oso nearly luffed myself silly when taking photos wif jessica and hui yun. i bent down behind and between jessica and hui yun to pose for the photo, den jessica tweece in front of mi. frm the camera's pt of view, it looks lyk she's sticking her fingers up my nose lei! wah... laugh until i nearly fall down. lucky never, otherwise earthquake liaoz.

today was indeed memorable, tho the food kinda sux =P but otherwise, reli worth a place in my heart.

Prelims results gonna be released starting tomorrow! Good luck everyone! Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Yay! Prelims over today! So happy... Break for today and tml, den continue to swot on friday.... bored..yes...but ain't got a choice...

To my horror, that sense of de ja vous is creeping back to haunt me. My best friend has come for me once again, to claim his place in my mind and heart. My eyes constrict in fear and I cower as I see him, with his voluminous cloak, towering before me, waiting to absorb me into that vortex of his. Why, why does he want to find me again? Am I really so destined to have him to be within me, eating me from the inside? Monophobia.......... It's back....

Been tied down wif prelims all this while. Gonna end in 3 days. >.< Dunno wad kinda results I'm gonna get. Not good, that's for sure. Well, to all who feel really tired and wanna gif up, DON'T! Here's a piece of guidance which I felt reli motivational and hope it will be too to you.

In the months and years to come, you will often feel as though you are facing insurmountable public or private obstacles. You many confront a wall that seems too broad or too high to surmount or circumvent. But do not give up in despair, for, in nearly all cases you will discover later that the apparently insurmountable wall was acutalli of little or no significance.
-Daisaku Ikeda
From: A Lasting Peace

Argh! History was a TERRIBLE disaster! SS and history both disaster... Disaster + Disaster = Catastrophe...

Today's A Maths 1 was pretty ok. Never felt so happy after doing Maths exam before. But this isn't reli gd news. It means paper 2 is gonna b nothing short of a killer, so we've got the weekend to mug for it. Tomorrow's bio... Hope it'll be fine. Physics wasn't tt gd either... Will be a repeat of my term 3 I think... Think my L1R5 this time will b >15...

I'm starting to find my imagination too fertile for my liking. Wild thoughts that can never be possible in real life are playing over and over and over again in my mind's eye... Sometimes I find them funny but at other times I just find them really ridiculous and laugh at my own silliness. At other times, it could probably be just fantasies of mine and I smile to myself when I see it all but come to think of it...are they actually gonna happen in my life? Not likely. Dumbledore's Pensieve would be a most wonderful possession to have right now. I could take these thoughts out of my mind and put them in the Pensieve and watch them play over and over again. Then they would stop crowding in my mind and taking up precious space. Lucky Dumbledore...

Today's physics prac was nothing short of a disaster. So was yesterday's English. There go my prelim results... I still aim so high... This is perhaps one of my fantasies.....

Argh! My SS!!! Gonna fail le! Last two source-based qns nv do.... Die liaoz... Wanted to go SA or AC but now... hopes shattered into billions of sub-atomic particles... Switzerland 2b oso nv finish....can get >21 i satisfied le... now pinning all hopes on history...

Today's practical was pretty easy. The stupid groundnut gave all very smelly fumes when burnt... Whole thing chao tar.... den muz measure temperature... everyone got very different results...all scared...but the food tests were simple... the drawing part i left out the septum for the tomato... minus mark?... next week having chem prac... please redox or acid-base titration come out... tolong.... come out thermometric titration or rate of reaction i die le.... QA...dunno wad mr murali gona set...like wad he saes, my hand gona shake like drug addict on that dae i guess...still remember he said he wld gif us distilled water...den everything negative test and we start panicking and coming up wif our own ions...but sure nt as sadistic as that yeah?

Sigh....

Had quite a pleasant experience on the way home today. Stopped just outside my house to buy an ice-cream from the ice-cream man. Then so happened I stood there for a while and chatted with the ice-cream man. To my surprise, the guy could actually discuss a bit of politics with me. Talked a bit about rents, work, government and the Singapore's system. Really had quite a nice chat with him, while I was finishing my ice-cream. Yummy! It's been such a long time since I've truly talked my heart out about things liddat for a very long time. Goes to show how deeply people are involved in politics nowadays. Practically everybody, I should think. ^_^

Anyway, tml's my English oral le... Veri veri nervous.... Hope I do well... Off to practise le...byez!

Bummer. Just received prelims timetable a few days ago. Sucks. Three weeks away from SS paper. Huge wake-up call. Already started mugging. Hope I'll be in time.

My discman's come back to life. So happy! Thought it was gone for good. Finally can have those melodious tunes echoing thru my head again.

National Day coming up next week! Phew! Looooooong weekend! But also means loads of homework. Also just received 43 sets of other schools' papers for SS. If I can finish that....siaoz, wad m i tinkin, how the hell can i finish all that?

Also just watched Spirited Away two days ago. The story is really veri veri touching. The music also so beautiful. Just a lil annoyed they din show what happened between Chihiro and Haku in the end.

Knots...

All the work is starting to flow in like water out of a tap. Pressure really starting to make its presence felt. >.<

English... I seem to have become total strangers to my vocabulary. My brain is like a wrung sponge. Really can't recall.

English oral 2 weeks from now. My reading isn't much of a problem. But I do stumble over my conversation. Really don't want to do badly for that part. My paper 2 is bad enough.

Chinese 'O' level results also due either next week or the week after next. Ripple after ripple.... Such is a sec 4's life... where ripples become waves...

*Yawnz... Feeling hyper sleepy now but still got energy to update. Reli feel lyk updating today cuz gort a lot of farnie things happen in class today. Lolz.

Well, firstly, Mr. Ho said our class had a nickname since sec 3. The teachers who teach us came up with this name "Poker face". Nearly laughed my guts out when Mr. Ho explained and showed that expression on hs face. But he also said we got improve la. Poker face is to compare us to the gamblers that they show in the movies and on tv. Cuz when they look at their cards they always got this expressionless look on their faces, so equivalent to us. When we get scolded, we give this expression. When teacher ask us whether we understand, we give this expression. When teacher shows us something, we give this expression. Maybe now I describe it doesn't really seem hilarious but those in 4D1 shld noe wad I talkin abt yeah? Now I think abt it still laugh. LOLZ!

Then think back a few days, remember how we teased Mr. Lau about him having the same bruise in the same position. Haha, den we say both of dem make out. LOLZ! Really cracked me up man. Then today in bio class, unfortunately I'm seated right in the middle, so Mr. Lau walks down to where I sit and blasts (literally k. those who get taught by him shld noe) to the whole class. Then poor Jessica have to cover her ears when Mr. Lau speak, otherwise reli too loud le. Then when he speak sometimes will haf downpour de. Poor mi and Jessica always kena, so I ask her whether she want umbrella. Lolz. Mr. Lau oso start to strangle Clarence veri often lately, so every time Clarence incurs his wrath, straight away the Buddha palm will descend upon his neck and tighten, while we onlookers watch and laugh. :P :D

Then so qiao, Mr. Lau and Mr. Murali confiscated the same thing today. A basketball. Mr. Murali came before Mr. Lau came, so we all saw them carry basketballs. Both were in the same condition too. These two reli got telepathy sia.

But jokes aside, the workload nowadays are reli starting to squeeze me just a lil too tightly. Muz continue to struggle. Thank goodness my best friend isn't around so often nowadays.

Argh! Feel like ripping my physics worksheets apart right now. So many damned questions making me stare blankly at them and they seem to be giggling away that I can't do them when they're so simple. Then for English, that woman look at me like buay song lidat. B***** b****...

But I guess it's no use getting angry. It's mostly my own fault. But who doesn't want to do well? Haiz~ reli vexed and confused now...and most of all, frustrated. Worse still, this is only a warm-up session. I can't imagine what I'll do when we get into full gear.

Handover's next week. Dunno what I'm gonna say den. Time passes really quickly...

Well, finally changed my layout. The old one had the silly red cross cuz the image wasn't available. So changed to this one. At least this one looks cool, although it does look a bit plain, with only the image at the back but it was the only one I found satisfactory.

Finally got over my misery for my term 3 results. No point in mourning over them now. Might as well spend the time to work on my weaker subjects. Prelims must definitely score better. Can't afford such crap like that again.

Failed English. Frigging E8. My world has come crumbling down? Not really. If this was what I got for prelims then it would be. What can I do? Blame myself...mourn...pity myself...lament...then move on and start working and learning hard and smart again, I guess. Definitely must chalk up my grade...

As for the other subjects, I didn't do too badly, I guess. At least I managed to scrape quite a reasonable pass for my A Maths, which is surprising, since I've only had red marks in the past for exams before, so this really comes as a pleasant surprise. Sort of soothes my English hit ba. E Maths was a bit of a letdown though...didn't expect this kinda grade.

Sciences ain't too bad. Physics, as usual, was a disaster. Biology was ok la... Chemistry dunno yet... Getting it back tomorrow... *Fingers crossed

Today's certainly been a beautiful day. My my, such terrific results for all subjects. But of course, the best was English. I scored 'highest' in level for summary...3/25.  The rest of the subjects...I think will be as beautiful as this, I think, especially my humanities...
 
Ahh shut up...feeling nothing short of grouchy and irritated now...but I guess it's all my fault...crapz....

HAHAHAHAHA! Exams finally over le! What a nightmare... Gonna slack off completely this weekend then perk up again starting next week. Both maths have been utter horrors these 2 days. E Maths couldn't finish. 25 marks gone. A Maths oso cldnt finish. 20+ marks vanished. Haiz~ The number of subjects I think I will fail I dun haf enuff fingers to count wif one hand. Sheesh. So much for 16. Wonder how beautiful my marks are going to be when I get them back.

But look on the bright side. Exams over, sun is bright, air is fresh (coughs), the world is a beautiful place!!! Paiseh...mad le...exam stress...cannot blame...never worked so hard in my life...wonder how it'd be like during the actual 'O's...hahaha...

He's now at a radius for about a few kilometres within me. Cheers!

Phew! Just finished Chemistry today. The paper wasn't that bad as Mr. Murali made it sound to be. Struggled a little bit with the MCQ but should be able to do well, unlike my Physics and History.

Oh well, for History, out of everything I studied, only 1911 Revolution came out. Source-based somemore, which means my structured-essay totally gone. Physics also not very good. MCQ was ok for me but paper 2 was stiff. Haiz~ Two tough papers on one day. How to do well? Aiya, wait for results to come out then see where I go wrong ba. No point mourning over it le, though I really feel like mourning.

Tomorrow's E Maths 2. A Maths 2 is the day after tomorrow. Hope I'll do well for that. Dun wanna let that person down after all those encouraging words.

Haven't felt much from my best friend recently. Maybe it's cuz I've been too busy. That's a good sign. At least I'm occupied.

Wahaha! This week finally over le. Nightmare sia. Finally, after so many papers, I finally managed to finish one today. The rest before that, sad to say, all got blanks. Nightmare going to continue again next week. History and physics together. Dunno how I'm going to survive through that. But cannot survive also must try to survive. Haha, now still got time to update blog, should b can survive ba...*crosses fingers...

I feel tired very easily nowadays. Dunno why. Must be the exams ba. So many subjects sure fail le...kinda discouraged...

Still feel his presence around me...Uncomfortable...Suffocating...

It's supposed to be A Maths and SS on Wednesday but right now I'm thinking of my English paper...I really think I failed that paper and I'm really worried that I'll do badly for my coming papers. Argh! I can't concentrate on my revision! I'm really frightened...

Today was the Fitness Run at MacRitchie reservoir. I managed to complete it, considering my stamina. Yeah~! Tiring la...but since it's the last time, might as well do what I can. And I did!

Yesterday's English paper was a total disaster. Couldn't finish summary and didn't understand what half the questions were talking about. Sure fail. Haiz~~ Lucky only term 3 exam, otherwise...ok, don't think about it le. xiang xie bie de ba.

Tomorrow's the Chinese 'O' Level listening compre! Everybody go dig your ears. Make sure they're nice and clean so that the sound can enter without much problem.

My best friend is still having his effect on me. Throw him out!!! Get him out of my life!!!

Many people have different ways of getting rid of their worries and troubles. I'm no exception. My mood will swing and I eat. A lot. And when people talk to me, I get all paranoid and start imagining things. I think too deeply between the lines of what people say and seem to think of me. It may seem freaky to some but that's the way it works for me.

Games day today. Didn't go. Rained. They played only scavenger hunt for about an hour, so I heard. Quite a few sec 4s went. Even some whom I didn't expect to go. Wanted to go but didn't in the end. Circumstances didn't permit.

My best friend's been really hyper active recently. He's been gathering some good friends of his to accompany me. How nice.

Went back for band ytd. Go back and kay poh a bit. The band playing Tasca. >.< So cool! Sounds so egyptian and african mixed. Haha! They're playing Folklore for Band also. Haiz~ My poor juniors still can't manage the 'banana!' parts. Muz jiayou hor!

Now that I think back on all the past sectionals I've had with my section, I realise I really have been strict, sadistic, sarcastic and fierce with them. Lolz, so poor thing. But then, I don't regret my actions. My juniors have improved leaps and jumps compared to when they first came in and I'm really having this great sense of satisfaction (not from my sadistic nature k, but from how they've improved).

Friction causes wear and tear. Reduce it as much as possible, cuz it sometimes may have disastrous consequences that are beyond your imagination.

Euro 2004 started le. Sweden vs Bulgaria 5-0! Lolz. Kinda like a walkover yeah? Haha. Anyway, I'm nt reli in2 all dis, so will nt go into detail here. But calling all soccer fans, if you guys (and gals) wana debate up dis feel free to jabber and blabber all u like over on my tag board on ur right.

Been having intensive revision for the past week for Maths. >.< Reli wana do well for Maths dis term 3. Maths dis week, den Science next week. Reli hope to cover as much as possible. Mrs. Gan's paper always a stiff one de. Haiz~

Den due to the intensive revision I've been pigging it out at Mac and KFC a lot, so sure put on weight after these hols de. Haiz~ 100 kg le still nt enuff...

I can't do it. Not now. In the future? Perhaps. No, not perhaps. I will do it in the future. Which part of future, though, remains to be seen. Je aimer vous.

Received so many shocks and surprises today. Flabbergasted. Dumbfounded. Dumbstruck. Surprised(understatement?). Not very pleased with some but some are quite ok. Some hit me with the force of a steel club. But what surprises me is the rate at which the news spread. It's really faster than wildfire. Tongues wag and wag and soon, nearly everyone knows. Worry and apprehension cast a gloom over some people. Wonder what'll happen next....

Second week of June holidays coming to an end. Time really flies. Really have to get my revision going. I seem to have done so little. Term 3 papers all seem to be killers. Mr. Ho setting E Maths, Mrs. Gan setting A Maths, Mr. Chiang setting Physics, Ms. Tan setting Chemistry, Ms. Low setting SS and History and Mrs. Chan setting Biology. Future looks bleak but will continue to strive!

Lolz! Me and Jasper had a good laugh today after Physics about how Ron and Malfoy acted in the latest Harry Potter movie. Gosh, the look on his face when he described Malfoy's face was just too good to be true. Thinking of how Jasper laughs always makes me wanna laugh myself. Hahaha!

My best friend has returned, much to my horror. Trying to ward him off with a good book. Seems quite successful at times. Permanently? I don't know. Time will tell.

Responsibility rests on one's shoulders at one point or another of one's life. Why shirk from this chance to gain experience? No doubt the difficulty and challenge is there but shouldn't this be the chance for you to mould yourself to a better person? One who shirks responsibility is no better than the one who cannot accept it.

These thoughts just simply flow through my mind when I think of that person. Just felt like penning them down here, that's all.

Well, finally changed my background. Thanks a lot for helping me with everything, Yi Cher!!! Today watched Harry Potter!!! Kinda disappointing in some parts. Didn't really follow the book as faithfully as the past 2 movies but I guess it's all up to the director. I won't say anything more about the movie here, cuz I don't wanna spoil it for those who haven't watched it. Two hours and fifteen minutes. I think the only movie longer than this would be Troy, I think. The soundtrack sounds really awesome too. Must buy after it comes out.

Sheesh, pre-prelims inching uncomfortably close. All teachers from all subjects threatening us with killer papers. Must make full use of this opportunity this holidays. Good luck everyone!!!

Concert was great!!! So many people came!!! I think last night was really a night not to be forgotten. Everything was just so cool! I freaked out a little during the quintet but otherwise it all went pretty smoothly.

Then today, everybody was full of praise and awe for Mei Yin. Her drumset part for Sabre Dance was praised to the skies by practically everyone who went, even Mr Lau. She really deserves it, cuz she played so well!!!

There is a bad side to this concert though. I'm unofficially no longer a member of CTSB (*sobz) but definitely will come back once in a while to see how the band is doing, especially my section. I really fang xin bu xia. Miss my instruments also...

Band practice resumed today. Haven't had such a long day in ages. Now feeling really tired. Gone out of shape le. Haiz~~~

Today bio test was quite simple la...juz that I couldn't remember the functions of the placenta -_-''' but otherwise it wasn't really much of a challenge.

Just found out that next Monday's rehearsal is in the morning!!! Hurray!!! That means no lessons in the morning!!! But on the concert day we still got lessons. :S How to concentrate when you'll be performing on stage in a matter of hours?

Unwanted emotions always hit you when you least expect it. Disappointment. Pain. Sadness. And when they hit you, it's worse than any physical pain you might experience. But now, when all three assault you at one shot, how can one handle it? You have caused me all this. Why must you do this to me? But compared to another person, I'm sure what I'm going through is nothing. I'm sure he is going through much, much more than I am.

Just had my chinese prelims last week, oral yesterday and listening comprehension today. The first 2 kinda sucked but I did really well for the 3rd!!! Well, anyway, we're all gonna get back our papers next week, so good luck everybody!!!

Band concert looming up in less than a fortnight's time. Feeling kinda nervous. Hey you people out there! Got your tix yet? Get them now from any band member you know and give your ears a treat!

My best friend. He's not even my best friend now. He isn't beside me, he isn't around me, he isn't in me. He is me.

Argh! Chinese prelims coming up next week!!! I haven't really got much work done but I can write out most of the words and make sentences with most of the words le. So hopefully I'll do ok in the coming paper.

Then after that? CONCERT!!! Hey you guys out there! Must come and support us k? It's gonna be a great night and it'd be such a pity if you didn't go! So grab a partner, purchase your tickets from any band member around and get ready to give your ears a treat!!!

Looming up behind it would be the Chinese 'O' levels le... I really wanna do well for this time. I really don't wanna retake it in November. Just clear it and clear it well, and I can chuck Chinese to the back of mind and delete it....temporarily. GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY!!!

My best friend really sucked me very deeply into his vortex today. Had me spinning and spinning in circles and made sure I couldn't do anything right. Out there, someone is helping him do it, and I know too clearly who it is but alas! there is nothing I can do about it.

We really infuriated Mrs. Cheang yesterday. So much so that she said she gave up on us and just walked out of the class and reported it to Mrs. Chua. Then Mrs. Chua came in and really gave us a good scolding and said that if we can't get along then she'd swop Mrs. Cheang with Mrs. Shum. We sometimes really don't like some things Mrs. Cheang and don't approve of her behaviour sometimes but when compared to Mrs. Shum, Mrs. Cheang is miles better. If we get Mrs. Shum for our English teacher, I really don't want to think of the grade that would appear on my O level result slip.

Then today was the speech day. Heaven refused to give face, and simply opened up and the rain just descended and cascaded. Luckily, it stopped in time and we were able to have the parade, even though it was rather rushed. But it was overall quite a good parade. Cheers!

I'm starting to realise that being with my best friend has its advantages. It's made me look at certain things and people very differently, and made me realise certain things. Sometimes, or should I say, most of the time, things are not as they seem.

Well, I've got big news!!! I've finally hit a 3-digit weight! But kinda confused. How did I put on so much weight in such a short period of time? Do I really stuff my face so much and with so much unhealthy food? Now that I've finally gotten this wake up call, I'd better respond and try to squeeze my way back to a 2-digit weight again. But if I do lose weight (yeah, like that's gonna happen), will Jonathan still get that same reveberation when he punches me in the arm? =D

Tomorrow's the full-dress rehearsal for speech day. It's definitely going to last past 7 o'clock and bound to have at least 3 rehearsals. Lucky our E Maths test has been postponed to Monday, otherwise I dunno how I'm gonna survive.

Strangely enough, even though he's been pulling me into that endless vortex of his, I somehow don't feel anything nowadays. I neither fight him or mind him. Have I gone numb? Maybe not. I guess it's more of getting used to having him around.

Sheesh! Finally, it's the long weekend. Happy Easter to all out there!!!

I think some of you guys out there get kinda freaked out when you see I pour so much chilli on my food right? Really makes it look real bloody. Well, I just like the taste and excitement of chilli. Somemore can increase metabolism rate! But then, all the chilli oil would probably erase that effect I suppose. So unfair de, some ppl can eat and stuff and gobble but seem to lose weight after that. I do the same thing and the next you know, voila! an extra two kg gained. -.-

Haiz~been failing english recently. Just don't know how to answer compre questions leh...-_-||| Brain cells dying at a faster rate than the rate at which I eat my food... But the test on the differentiation of exponential and log wasn't too bad, though the solving of the ln equation totally stumped me but I daresay it'll be better than my previous differentiation tests. All thanks to the practice Mr. Ho gave us before the test. If not for that, I would probably have done as brilliantly as my previous tests.

He's been poking fun of me again. Laughing manically away, he knows I'll never be able to escape from that voluminous cloak of his.

Today during sectionals, the band store cabinet for the woodwinds simply just collapsed. Wah, immediately after we here it collapse, everybody near it simply rushed there to see.

A lot of people have had a haircut recently, including me but fortunately, compared to others, mine doesn't make a statement.

Then we've been having conditioning during PE lessons these weeks. NAPFA coming too quickly. Haiz~ I ain't gonna fail to fail again this year.

My best friend's control over me is becoming a Jekyll-Hyde relationship. I try to conquer him but fail miserably. He makes me do things that I really want to avoid, like going on a binge and feeling down in the dumps. And just recently, I've noticed he pours in endless mutterings into my ears and cause me to think about stuff I really shouldn't think about. His power over me has really come close to overpowering and overwhelming me completely. I'm finished.

Grr...bad weather today, so we couldn't finish all the events scheduled for today. I was so looking forward to cheering my class on in the 8-man 1200m relay. Haiz~

I've heard quite a bit about certain teachers' courting days and marriages for the past two days. Mrs. Gan told us a bit about hers and we managed to "persuade" Mr. Ho and Mr. Lau into telling us theirs as well. They're all really unique and interesting to listen to. Then Sherman made a comment about Mr. Ho and You Shun being the 'same pattern de', making us laugh till our faces nearly split. Lolz! I think about it now still will chuckle.

Tomorrow's the CC performance. We gotta wear our band uniform!!! I will surely get cooked de, as usual. Hope it all goes smoothly. Jiayou Weijie!!!

I felt my best friend's eerie presence all too clearly these days. He's practically flung off his cloak and bound it tightly around my neck. If he does it any tighter, I think my feet are going to swell up. I think I've totally given up trying to throw him off. I really have no more energy and vigour to fight against him. I'm throwing in the towel.

Surprisingly I'm writing something here today, considering the fact that I was planning to leave my entry for the next one week, and if that isn't enough, we just had three rounds of speech day rehearsals today, so it adds on to the fatigue.

Today's rehearsals, similar to the first speech day rehearsal every year, was a bit of a disaster at the beginning. Everybody got frustrated over the number of chairs to put out, the different commands to listen out for, and to watch the conductor at the same time but the second and third rehearsal was more successful.

There was a slight hiccup next to me during one of the rehearsals though. Never seen one like that before. Hope it doesn't last. Are they still one? Or split? I'm kinda confused but I guess it doesn't really concern me. *shrugs

Oh well, getting kinda late. Should turn in soon...*yawnz

I didn't feel my best friend's presence at all today. I hope it stays that way. I really don't want him to come back. As for her, I hope she stays happy and not ever get hurt or bleed anymore. I'd be more than willing to be in her place in times of pain.

Today's Friday. End of term 2 week 1. 9 more weeks to go. Not progressing with my work at a very steady rate yet. Better buck up soon.

A lot of things happened this week. First of all was Cheryl's birthday. Gave her her present two days late. :P Dunno if she likes it. But that meant I couldn't get Weijie a present le...and Guang Liang's birthday coming up next week. Really short of cash. Dunno if I can get gl a decent bdae present or not. Hope so.

Then today's Mr. Murali's birthday!!! We sang him the birthday song during his lab period today and he was like so happy! :D

Miss Low said tomorrow no need to go for her lesson, so I can wake up later by about 15 minutes 'cos band starts at 7.15 am cuz of the speech day rehearsal -.- but gotten used to it le. Miss Low's lesson usually 7 am, so shouldn't be a problem.

My best friend isn't close to me nowadays, and I'm glad of that. Sometimes, I'm really frustrated with him around. Glad he hasn't been around me much these few days.

It's the end of the week. Dunno whether should be happy or worried. The week of long days is finally over, and for the past 2 days, I've been able to wake up as late as I like and nobody stopped me.

Then another thing is that, I STILL GOT TONS OF HOMEWORK NOT COMPLETED!!! English, Maths, Chem, Physics, you name it I've got it. I don't even know when to hand in some of them.

My best friend is still hanging around me, occasionally tapping me on the shoulder or tickling me on the back of my neck to remind me he's still there. Comforting? or irritating?

Just came back from band camp a few hours ago. I don't know how I have the energy to even lift my fingers to type this but I do, so here it is.

The CTSB idol yesterday night was simply TERRIFIC!!! Of course, the main stars of the night, were of course, Guang Liang, with his Jolin's kan wo 72 bian and hai dao, Vanessa, with her She Bangs and Wei Jie, with his...oh dear...I can't remember what he sang...but it was all just incredibly terrific! "She Bangs" was taken by a lot of people. Vanessa and Chee Ping were among the many that sang and danced to this song. It really rocked!!! But I think Guang Liang still the best. His kan wo 72 bian still as good as ever and his hai dao oso rox, even though he stopped here and there. That's really one night in my life worth remembering....

Gettin really shagg le....getting off to bed...*yawnz

Holidays next week. Hate it. It's even busier when compared to normal school days and it's like approximately three periods per subject. Wth.

I can't work well recently. I look at my tys and I scratch my head till my scalp hurts and I still can't seem to do any questions up to my satisfaction. Am I that backward in my studies?

And btw, to all those who have read 'My Best Friend', he's not a person...

Haven't touched my blog in a few days. I either didn't have the time to do it, or I just couldn't be bothered. Life just sux nowadays.

Kind of hard up nowadays. Got handphone bill to save up for, and Cheryl's and Fu Wei's birthday coming soon and I couldn't get Shereen a gift for her birthday, which was on the 5th of March. Feel really guilty.

Just received a lot of new pieces that we're all going to play for the concert this coming May. Some of them are really challenging for my section. Hope my juniors can cope with them.

Tired....logging off...

The Phantom of the Opera theme soundtrack rox!!! Thanks for sending it to me, You Shun. I really think it sounds great, especially the last part. The way they pitch the last part really astounds me. Angel of Music. ;)

Career's workshop tomorrow. Signed up for Biotechnology and Chemical Engineering. Hope it'll be interesting.

I'm feeling on top of the world right now!!! Well, maybe not, but most of my body is! Firstly, I'm like sooooooo happy for my seniors cuz they've all done extremely well!!! Congrats guys! Ruili got 8, Qifei got 11, Shu Min got 14, Elizabeth got 9! Haven't they all done so well! But I'm happiest for Shu Min. Her O level results compared to her prelims are really leaps and jumps apart. She's improved so much. Really happy for her! YOU GO GIRL! WOOHOO! *mad le...:P nah, just thrilled to bits about my seniors.

But there is a downside to all this happiness though. Miss Low now expects us to get even better grades for our combined humanities. She's gonna 'push us till we lao sai (get diarrhoea)'. Lolz. But her expectations of us seriously rising. Her previous batch got 2.47 for MSG. She expects 1.8 to 2.0 for us! Stressful, but I suppose it's for our own good yeah?

Then now must start pushing myself to achieve similar grades with my seniors. They've set this kind of standard and I must try to achieve what they have done. I'd be screaming for joy if I got 13 and less. But that's all empty talk for now. Must work for it and see the results then talk.

Been kinda worried recently. Just tried doing my tys for biology and, to my utmost horror, I find that I can't even answer half of the questions in the topic I tried. Must be getting double coating of rust in the brain...

MacRitchie reservoir performance coming up in a few days time. Got new band tee to wear. Maroon. Hopefully dear old Mother Nature will condescend to smile kindly at us on that day and give us miles of good weather all around. CTSB ROCKS!!!

Monophobia. Is it the cause of the trouble around me?

Been a week since I left any tracks here. Nothing much has happened in the past week except that today we had two fire drills where Mr. Hang's loud, foghorn-like voice blasted through (what blasted? we could hardly hear him) the PA system announcing the fire drill.

Haven't actually read any good books recently. Getting rusty up there. Anyone's got any good books to recommend? The only things I've been soaking up recently I guess would be my textbooks and tys. I should and have started on my revision but I have no motivation to continue or to put in more effort into my revision. Getting complacent? Nah, maybe not. More of lazy.

The ice cream that those guys have made is really delicious. It may have tasted a little bland and they said it was strawberry but I could taste lots of other things in there other than strawberries. The overall texture of the ice cream rox though. It did feel smooth to the taste and most importantly: IT ONLY CONTAINS 1% FAT!!! That's great news for me. So if I do purchase it, I can just picture myself sitting in front of the TV with the big 2-litre tub of ice cream sitting on my lap and my spoon diving in and out of the tub and right into my mouth. *Smacks my lips...

Wonder what's up with Mr. Ho today. First thing come in class give us the chill. Heavy sarcasm and cold anger. Our class's fault? Have we really pushed him to the edge and stepped way over the line to make him behave like this? Or has something else sparked off that rage inside him? I don't know and I certainly don't wish to find out.

Valentine's day coming up in two days time. So fast! Should I get anything for anyone? I dunno. See if got money first ba. :P

Well, I've been a real ass this few days. Well, whoever you guys are who've been penning down so much on my tag-board, I guess I really have you to thank. I keep thinking of how I've changed but in reality, I just haven't changed a single bit.

I admit I was kinda disappointed but I really can't blame anybody for that except myself. Regret not having thought about it before I penned all that down. My sincere apologies to those whom I've offended. I'm sincerely sorry. And as for the person who despises me, well...I don't blame you.

I ma ujts os htru! Ti stuj gsoe ot owsh owh ponuualrp I ma. Reyvenoe tsge vtinide ot ish ouehs ubt em. I oknw I asw econ lalrye ririttangi dna I aylbpobr litsl ma utb uyo sygu ustj eivg eht odg a dba emna nad ghna mih. I sutj efel os kgcuifn uhtr!!! Hwy tanc I eb pecactde yb uoy yusg ingaa??? Ywh.........:'(

Os uhmc orf ym odgo serifdn...

Just finished flag day a few hours ago. Very very tired. Didn't collect a lot of money either, compared to Selina and Qiang Mei and many others. Poor Wei Jie only collected about one-tenth of his tin, and about half of it is his own donations.

Scrabble competition coming up in about a fortnight's time. All those who are interested, or rather, willing to be score and time-keeper please contact me. You can claim CIP hours from this.

I usually don't make more than one entry a day, but just feel compelled type something here now. The wild thoughts that just run through my mind every single minute of the day are sometimes just too much for me to take. So I guess my blog just somehow acts as a Pensieve. I extract a thought, or a few thoughts for that matter, and pen it down here. And somehow it acts just like one too. You come too close to it, you touch it and you just see what is going on inside my mind, in the probably bizarre way I see it.

The only problem is, when I pen the thought down here, it doesn't get extracted from my mind (note the contradiction?). Instead, it just seems to make a copy of what is raging through my mind. I think about a lot of things all the time and somehow or other, a tune always accompanies them. Ross Roy could be playing through my head at times, or on another day, it could be Spoon River or perhaps six hours later, it could be An American Portrait. The melodies just play through my head while all the other things I keep thinking about just play through my head at the same time. How is this possible? Ask my head.

I feel like releasing the inner demon in me. Pressure really starting to build up to a level I cannot withstand. I cannot withstand.....................................

They going Wei Jie's and Hui Zhen's house on Sunday. Think they're gonna gamble and play the whole day again I suppose, what with Wei Jie and Guang Liang losing and winning such a big sum.

My SIM card rejected. Actually all my fault. Itchy hand then go and fiddle with the security codes and end up SIM card spoil. Gonna have to pay for a new one. Dammit!!! It's quite ex lorz, then now gonna have to dip into angbao money. Shoot. Was gonna buy something with that money. Oh well, guess I can only blame myself.

The guy sitting beside me is now pumping loads of crap into my head now, everyday. And nearly every single lesson. Thank goodness he spares me (sometimes) for Maths and those subjects I'm weak in. No doubt I feel like strangling him lots of times but I think he's a pretty nice guy, even though my impression of him isn't flawless but then who is? But I think today he kena sabo by me. My calculator spoil, then during test kept borrowing his, then he had to do some of his calculations by brute force. So sorry pal, if you do read this.

Somehow, this year, I still don't feel compelled to do serious work yet, and like Mr. Murali said, we're already fully submerged in crap, so I think it's really going to get tough if I don't start now but I just can't seem to start my engine. No petrol yet, I suppose. Where's all my adrenaline? Evaporated arh? High time I stimulated my glands to produce it. Lots of it.

Heavily in debt recently. Owe people more than 10 over dollars in total. Sheesh. Big appetite. Gotta start cutting down. I always say that but I never do it. -.-

Lolz, today band very funny. Candace screamed when a rat practically zoomed out from behind her saxophone case in the cupboard and everybody got so excited and agitated over the poor rat. Then it fled to under the stand holder. I asked Jeremy later on if he got it and he said he lost it at the IT Lab 5. ^_^ Hope no more girls will scream if they see the rat again. Hurry off!

Went Mr. Chiang's house today. Had quite a lot of fun. His house on 21st storey sia. I a bit scared of heights, so luckily I stay only on the 3rd floor. Lost a lot in blackjack. Sherman win liao lor, win over $20. The place which I sit really have super lousy fengshui lorz. I sit there, lost about 7 to 8 dollars. Jun Xian then moved to sit at my place, also lost a lot.

Then tomorrow going You Shun's house. Hope that I can win something there, if I gamble. I think sure to larz. Guang Liang loves to play mahjong, and many others sure play blackjack, so I'm sure will gamble de.

Today's the first day of the CNY. Everyone got lots of red packets right? Then on Monday must bring more money to donate. This year my angbao money decreased le. Haiz~~ Anyway, I'm going to start my revision this Saturday. Can't afford to wait any longer, otherwise sure lag behind.

Going You Shun's house this Sunday. I really can't picture 20 over people squeezing into his flat, especially since I take up the room of two people. The others going Dency's house in the morning. Then dunno gonna stay at You Shun's house for how long. He say can stay as long as we want, so I think kan zhe ban ba.

Being the spot in the middle of stripes is not easy. They form a real solid wall, blocking off any intrusions.

Haven't visited this thingy for a very long time. Just had my history test yesterday and binomial theorem test the day before. Both suck like shit. I studied causes of war in the pacific, Miss Low tested reasons for Japan's defeat. I studied peace treaties, Miss Low tested peace conferences at Yalta and Potsdam. Talk about luck.

Binomial theorem test was a little better. I could remember what to apply, except for a few parts. Still I don't think I'm going to do very well.

A couple of birthdays have passed, Alvin's as well as Siti's. Feeling kinda guilty I didn't get a gift for Siti, but then I contributed a bit to Alvin, so I guess I couldn't give both. Alvin said they got him a football jersey with his surname on and the number '9'. So cool! I think Siti also got quite a few gifts from a lot of people. Shi Qi, I'm sure, bound to give her. ;)

Test again, next week. Acid, bases and salts and stoichiometry. I love acids, bases and salts but stoichiometry...urgh! I've always hated calculations and always shall.

Then we also had the band orientation yesterday. I've got this cute guy (or so they say) in my section now, and he's got his own flute. Those clarinettists all want to try to rob him from my section. But I think the best guy was the guy from the saxophone section, Andrew. Yu Ting told me he could pitch low 'D' on the tenor saxophone. Amily was practically obsessed with the guy. I think he's good, not just on the saxophones. You should hear him playing the piano. Wei Jie and Esther got sabotaged when we were playing the game, Concentration, then they made Esther dance with Wei Jie. Then Andrew, the sec 1 guy, played 'My Heart Will Go On' on the piano. Sounded really nice.

All in all, quite a lot of things have happened since my last entry, both good and bad. Oh yeah, before I end off:

WEI LONG, ARE YOU GONNA GIVE IT TO ME OR NOT? MR. MURALI SAYS IT'S OK LE. I DYING TO TRY IT.

Just finished cutting out the newspaper cuttings for Miss Low's homework. Will die if i don't finish it by tomorrow, because I'll be nothing short of committing suicide if I don't finish her homework. No teacher, except Mr. Ho, has actually started teaching yet. It's the first week, so that's expected. Wait till the next few weeks come, then I'll start feeling the pressure, according to Mr. Murali.

Wei Long hasn't given it to me yet. Wonder if the person who took it is still healthy, alive and kicking. :P

School's reopened. Started binomial theorem on the first day of school. You Shun is right, we should learn our permutations and combinations first before learning binomial theorem. It's easier.

Hope this year won't be too stressful for me. Hey, what am I saying? Of course it'll be stressful! Hello...we're covering the syllabus by the end of May.

Just take a look at our teachers this year!
English: Mrs. Mel Cheang
Chinese: Mdm Liu Jian
History: Miss Shelley Low
Maths: Mr. Ho
Biology: Mr. Lau
Physics: Mr. Chiang (classparent)
Chemistry: Mr. Murali

Sciences and maths all taught by guys. Language-inclined subjects all taught by ladies.

Well, she got it. Oh! I forgot to ask her if she liked it! Argh! Talk about forgetfulness. How could I forget? Oh well, there's always next time. Just hoped she liked it. Thanks, Van, oops, Vanessa, for helping me with the present, if you still remember what it was.

She received it a bit late, but that doesn't matter. Just as long as she received it. Thanks Wan Ting, or whoever who helped me pass the present to her.

Today's the first day of 2004!!! Want to do well this year, but I'll probably make a bad start by not handing in certain homework? I haven't done Miss Low's homework yet!!! Same as committing suicide!!! Miss Low's going to skin me!