got my enlistment letter a couple of days back... startin to feel e horror n fear of it sinkin it liaoz... is my army life gona b a horrible one? reli feel tt itz gonna b a hard one... at least it will b if i continue to b of dis size... haha... i guess im reli gona spend 6 mths in tekong liaoz... how it i become lyk dis? thru plain n sheer laziness... hahaha... glanced thru e stories tt some ns men haf contributed on e webby... guess itz jz gona b hell for mi la... im reli gona nid it aniwae... given e shape im in now... sure i talk abt it lightly rite now... wait till i reli go in... tt's when e horror truly sinks in... but hey... tink of it dis way... dey're payin mi to slim down... wad betta deal cld i ask for?

veri worried tt i wun b able to take chem s... e selection test is lyk so difficult and im lyk flippin thru my 5 reference bks to no avail... y m i piling myself up wif all these unnecessary worries? haha... wish i cld jz let go of it once n for all n jz b reli n truly relaxed... wif nth to worry abt at all...

goin mr chiang's hse on 5th... haha... shld i wear e 'me' t-shirt again? worn e same t-shirt to mr chiang's hse for e past 2 yrs durin cny... oh well, i won big wif tt shirt last yr... wonder if i'll b able to do it dis yr... mayb i wun gamble dis yr... yeah like real... haha...

some kind soul out there pls discipline mi and get mi to work out... im gona die soon if i dun work out and reli slim down...

yep... u...

today celebrated CNY at jj... band din play tt well... tho e audience cldnt reli tell... dey were swingin away at e ymca part... haha... e whole bunch... both j1 and j2... of ex-ctss peeps frm jj went back... woots... saw all my old tchrs... reli rox!!! ^_^ bin gr8 seein dem again... chatted a lot... reli had a lot of fun... saw sky there too... gort dis farnie look on his face... oh well... shant comment much... haha... =p

afta tt went sumoya to stuff our faces... clarence wuz a bastard as usual... but actually i tink sth made him behave lidat all these yrs... tinkin back on wad mel cheang said... i tink she's right... based on clarence's handwriting... he's nt naturally lidat... sth muz haf stimulated him to behave dis way... i cld tell he looked super uncomfy when i said his feet didnt point straight when walkin and tt he still cldnt speak fluently except when spewin vulgarities... did i touch a nerve? was he teased often abt dis when young? tt's y he developed dis kinda personality? mayb... y do i care? hahaha...

e others went to bt gombak to plae badminton afta tt... din bother to go... nt in e mood aniwae... went to jp and paid my hp bill... waited for such a f-ing long time... den went mac and sat down wif myself and sipped my ice lemon tea... moment of peace...

came back... rotted a while... tried out my s paper selection test... nearly cried doin it.... itz reli veri veri difficult... strugglin like mad even wif physical chem... e test upon 150... i tink myuz get at least 120 to qualify for the nxt round of selection test... haiz... reli gona crumble under dis pressure soon liaoz...

CNY finally comin... reli look forward to dis long weekend b4 e horror of jc comes descendin upon my shoulders once more...

why? why does it have to be so unfair?

veri angry today... i mean... r e ppl takin phy in my batch blind n deaf? mr kwok's apparently seethin wif anger in front, tho he always uses those calm tones of his... yet these ppl jz either cannot or do not wana kip their blardy mouths shut... even e ppl in my clz... esp nazi and eunice... behind their mouths movin non-stop... farkin irritatin la... jz stfu for once can? in e end? mr kwok gifs a monotonous lecture, n i daresay 95% of e ppl inside e lt learnt nth... hu suffers in e end? we suffer la... but these ppl jz dun seem to get it... it'd betta nt happen tml... i still wan my gd phy grade k... and waves is startin to get more n more confusin to understand... gosh im startin to sound lyk a tchr...

on the brighter side, today's band was fun!!! din noe i cld still manage my piccolo so well... played shrek... electric lady (surprisingly easy)... the seven nights of july (finally sth tt poses a challenge)... and ROSS ROY!!! missed dis piece loads... tho lester doesnt noe how to conduct it... hahaha... tun kuang can play the flute veri well sia... can pitch 2 octaves lei... nt bad nt bad... tink he reli super sick of percussion le... imagine... playin e same few instruments since pri 3... LOLZ...

bin coughin away like mad for e past few days liaoz... reli dun wana go see doc... waste of money... self-medicate ba...

haven done anithin on phy of fluids tutorial... due tml... hell mr low's gona murder mi... well at least i did his phy spa practice... reli wana do well in my future phy spas... esp since i screwed up my previous phy spa... zzz... i wana get my 4 'A's... i nid tt scholarship...

asd orientation wuz fun!!! haha... e ppl playin my game gort like reli irritated... go wrong square e irritatin sound comes out and u gotta start all over again... but we still had a lot of fun!!! ^_^... i removed e maskin tape for debrah and minling's game by mistake... paiseh ar... =p... but still put it back on aftawards...

im reli laggin behind in work... i kip saein i wana work hard i wana work hard i wana work hard... but im workin anithin but hard... im workin SMART!!! haha... BHB~! no la... im reli nt workin at all... hard or otherwise... my inertia reli super high...

today's pc seemed to pass reli reli quickly... e route outside e sch i seemed to cover it more easily lei... mayb cuz i more used to the distance le ba... at any rate... i gona push myself for all pcs frm now on... can't continue like dis... n i aint gona let tt bastard yi yi kip sneerin at mi... he's gonna get it frm mi one day if he pushes mi over the edge...

wish my mood swings weren't so violent... well, mayb drastic wld b a betta word to use... cant take much more of my mood swings animore... reli terrible to experience sia...

suddenly gort e urge to dance my heart out at the para para machine... can alr see my hands flyin abt... haha... when im free ba...

sposed to b goin off to bed now... but as usual... yeah... haha... mummy's nt too pleased wif mi...

also sposed to get my first selection test paper for chemistry today... but dear ms goh forgot she permitted mi to try... so she din print... den aftanoon i forgot to get it... so gotta wait till tml... zZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...

I BELIEVE I CAN HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH THIS YEAR!!! I WILL SHOW ACTUAL PROOF THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE WHAT I WANT AND MORE THROUGH MY FAITH!!!

self-pity gets u nowhere... rmb tt...

bin whinin to myself lyk nobody's business... wish i'd stop... gettin reli irritatin... i haf enuff troubles on my hand wifout mi re-emphasising dem over n over n over again... reli in no position to bitch at all... u chose dis path urself dude... furthermore, mani more other ppl r in more dire straits den u r... so pull yrself tgt...

fever... sore throat... all these things haf to happen every time i resolve to lose weight... n by e time i've recovered... all tt motivation n determination evaporates... i tot watchin e biggest loser wld gif mi e motivation n determination i nid... jz din last enuff...

talkin to sky now... hope it'll help...

didnt want to wallow in self-pity... guess wad i've bin doin for dis entire entry? haha... bah... ure pathetic u noe tt?

signed up for Maths and Chem 'S' papers... tot i'd b e last person in e world to go in for maths s paper... hu knew it'd b e sub im lyk most confirmed of gettin e s paper for? haha... chem... my chances r bleak... reli wana take it... luv e sub... gort an A for it... but e other subs play a part too... dun haf an average of B for all subs la... i'll reli break down if i cant get it... chanted for it le... now to wait...

flutes today had 2 yr 1s? i tink so... onli went there for a couple of mins b4 i had to zao for my dcp treatment... boy nsc wuz full today... hopefully e flautists dis time wld b a gd bunch...

sore throat... sianz... how m i gona talk on sunday?

haven bin able to attend e past 2 chingay trainings... busy busy busy... definitely goin for saturday's one tho... and sunday's e orientation...

talked to shi ying ytd... e gal looked kinda sian... oh well... cant reli blame her... things happen yeah? and well... let's jz sae it wldnt b wad a gal wans... at all... hope she's fine...

yr 2 is killin mi...

every1 does sth wrong at times... sure i borrowed her notes... lyk u all haven b4 lidat? pls... u copy off e guy more times den i can count yeah? and u gif mi tt fcukin dulan face when u c mi usin her notes? f- off dude... get a life... ms. p is rite... we lie to survive...

im gona work hard to skim off all my excess fat... watch mi...

had no idea it'd hit mi tt hard... my heart bled... thank gdness i had my piccolo wif mi...

my bro's joinin fuhua's band!!! omg... cant bliv it la... well, if he's to fulfill his destiny there den wish him all e best ba... but... lolz... nv tot he'd join e band of all ccas... he loved robotics... too bad fuhua doesnt authorise tt as an actual cca...

tml chem test n maths test... and im still bloggin... cool... haven done e assignment for huang yu lan either...

jjcsb rox!!! too bad i had to leave early for e chingay daimokukai... hangin out wif those guys was fun... ^_^

zc sent mi e shan hu hai mtv on hp... quality a bit poor la... but it rox!!! veri nice...

thank gdness we finally finished halogen derivatives... e blardy lecturer duno how 2 lecture de la... she talk to us at e speed at which u wld address a 5 yr old... i mean... cmon... im sure we've got tt pt oreddy... MOVE ON!!! sheesh... e nxt lecturer had betta b betta... pity mr chua onli lecturin thermodynamics... wonder if i shld take tt option? mayb environmental chem sounds betta? we'll see...

life's reli reli bz now...

hope u're ok... tho i dun tink so... tc yeah?

talked to jaymie a couple of nites back... thnx gal... haiz... bin goin to her to bitch abt my probs recently... thnx for listenin to my crap gal...

bin goin to a lot of ppl for support recently haven i? haha...

let's see... huge pile of work awaitin mi... no motivation to do... huge pile of fats waitin for mi to burn... no motivation to exercise... gona sign up for chem s paper... yeah!!! muz get it... CHEM ROX!!!

finally gort rf's present... haha... shh...

wish i din haf to go for dcp treatments animore... dey're reli interferin veri badly wif my studies... muz find a way out... chant more to haf e wisdom... ^_^

gotta do tt assignment for huang yu lan... thots abt china... haha...

one more yr b4 i go into e army n cry... lazy to exercise now... pay for it later... all at one shot... let's see yr tears form a river den...

still tink of lizzy now n den... but no longer tink of her in tt way... sure i still tink flute n oboe make a beautiful duet... but i noe i'll nv click in tt way wif her... gave up on her quite some time ago... abt time too... 4 yrs... sheesh...

i can feel him comin back again... darn... u can always tell... e distinct and tell-tale sulphurous smell he emits... there he goes, his cloak billowin out behind up... beckonin to mi in tt way again... dun wana ever b trapped there eva again... i did once... n it wasnt exactly e best place to b on earth... but haf dis sinkin feelin im gona get sucked into tt vortex veri soon...

if u din understand a single word for this post, dun wori, u aint lackin in comprehension skills... e blogger is lackin sense n bein slightly delirious at dis pt of time n hence, is simply punchin in wadeva tt flows thru his mind...

abt time i forgot abt u too... haha...

a friend in need is a friend indeed... how mani donkey times haf we heard tt? or read tt? or said tt? or written tt? reli experienced it dis past few days... these 2 ppl reli haf bin veri strong pillars of my support and haf endured the shit i put dem thru... thnx so so much vanessa and sky... wldnt noe how i cld haf gone thru tt wifout u guys helpin... reli thnx eva so much... i'd put a pic of e 3 of us... but ashamed to sae... nv taken a pic wif vanessa e 5 yrs i've known her... same wif sky... wad i can show is a look-alike of sky whom i met at e band fest... oso a cool, gd-natured guy... reli looks a lot lyk sky... in my opinion... let's see now... wad's his name again? yang lei? yeah i guess so... gort to noe his name thru daniel n gabriel... see... band fest rox!!! (ok, whr's e link?)... aniwae... again, wana thank these 2 peeps so so much... u guys may tink itz a small thing... but come to tink of it... nv reli truly appreciated u guys b4... it means sth big to mi... reli...

there's no nid to luff so loudly or giggle at e pic... i noe i nt photogenic... itz e guy on e left u shld b payin attention to... paiseh ar dude... dun haf a pic wif u so usin dis 1...

reli bin lettin my emotions n feelins get e better of mi... gotta learn how to cope wif dem... esp when dey rage a war inside mi... itz nt ez bein e host... lolz...

i wuz tinkin to myself... if someone were to ever perform Legilimency on mi... e poor guy's mind wld burst... haha... im nt tt gd at clearin my mind... neither m i gd in keepin my tots in check... dey literally jz run wild inside dere... sounds scary, huh? nt reli la... if i can take it... itz nt scary...

i dun qualify to take chem 'S' paper!!! argh... A in chem i haf la but average for other subs muz b a B grade at least... my grades A C C E how to take? muz chant a lot la... haf faith in gohonzon... YEP!!!

b4 i leave, here r some sneak peeks at wad we were doin at e 4d1 chalet last wk... ie last yr... e one wrapped lyk a mummy n nun ish you shun... ;)





for once we see clarence in a proper decent pose... hahaha... tt's it for now folks... catch ya guys ard sometime soon...

all e more reason for mi to bliv so... sigh...

hey hey hey!!! hapi new yr everyone!!! woots... 1st dae of 2006... gona hafta get used to writin 06 and nt 05 animore... 2005 has bin a great and rotten yr for mi... totalli... haha...

let's see now... major events tt impacted my life? chingay... youth cultural festival... e trip to chengdu and xian and of course... THE BAND FEST!!! i guess e 4d1 chalet oso left a deep impression in mi... tho sadly nt as deeply as e others... met e wonderful windies in chingay '05... met my block c and e current grp of frens i haf now in ycf... met e farnie a8 guys n e weird (=P) s1 peeps in e china trip... and of coz met e mani mani mani diff band peeps frm all over s'pore at e band fest... BARNES ROX TO E MAX!!!

cant wait for sch to start... okok no nid to gif tt kinda expression... but seriously... 2 mths of all play n no work has made Jack a retarded boy... but soon i'll b wishin e hols nv ended... jz wana go at an ez pace... den i'll b able to breathe and prevent gettin retarded at e same time... nt tt i aint already...

gettin my mood swings again... n dey're gettin more n more drastic each time... reli scared i mite do sth silly to myself one dae... urgh...

bin slackin in faith... reli... muz reli go all out to strengthen it dis comin yr...

i will get my S papers... chem is one of dem... i'll leave e other one for gohonzon to decide for mi... i will score my As... i will i will i will...

talked wif sherman, shi qi and chee hoe abt some veri veri interestin stuff durin e chalet... stuff we dun usually tok abt in front of a large grp of ppl... hahaha... had to change topic when hui zhen or mei yin came into e room... so u more or less get e idea wad we were talkin abt... shi qi shared a lot abt his poly life... quite surprising wad goes on in a life of a poly student... sherman's clz tee quite cool... s8 shld get e same material... super comfy to wear la... dry-fit de... but den again gona b quite expensive... hope we get to haf our names splashed across e back of it too... reli haf a gr8 temptation to type out wad we were talkin abt in e convo... but reli too sensitive to post over a blog la... chee hoe n shi qi did most of e talkin... shermz n i listened most of e time... contributin a line now n den... but reli veri interestin to listen to... glad i wuz part of it... haha... den as usual, e other guys tried to sap my money in blackjack, onli to fail horribly... i kept gettin double ace or blackjack and twice when i wuz banker, in e last round i gort blackjack, which totalli sapped e money out of dem... double e amt mind u... cuz dey bet big n wanted mi to lose... oh well... better luck nxt time guys... n one final thing... i finally learnt how to cycle... all right all right cut e surprised shocked and laughin faces... i din noe how 2 cycle b4... but shi qi and e other guys lent a hand... and i more or less gort e hang of it... jz nid more practice ba... yeah!!! still gort a bottle of beer stashed in my bag... hope mummy doesnt find it... =p

bin talkin to a lot of experienced guys abt NS... jz talked to jian xiong abt it at e reception at valarie's weddin today... im reli gona suffer loads and loads and loads if i dun start slimmin down now... one yr... lose 40 kg... increase stamina by twentyfold... possible... sure... if i work at it... jz a matter of time n determination...

do i feel hurt? of coz i do... y do u tink i feel hurt? cuz i still feel a deep sense of belonging to it... thnx a lot... sure sure... e past... but i tot it wuz way back le... guess it isnt... i reli liked u bunch... n i still do... y do u choose to hurt and assault mi in dis way? u may nt haf meant it... but if u havent known mi well enuff by now... i take it tt way... contacted everyone? PAH!!! guess im nt even anione to u guys... y do u tink im so hurt... y do u tink im so angry? i tink if ure blind enuff to miss dis big guy out i guess ure blind enuff to nt see y... but i'll tell u y... itz cuz im still deeply attached to u guys... guess i jz meant nth... BAH...

long post... oh well... long yr ahead... haha... HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

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