It's the last day of 2008 and I'm here at home at this time, blogging. Woots. Not that I'm regretting it or anything... I've always been quite a sedentary person anyway... just staying at home and chilling out is one of the ways to countdown too, i'm sure... still remember last year (was it last year? can't really remember...) went to countdown at esplanade with chun yiu, shi qi and nicholas... nearly got squashed to death... but eventually spent a great night at chun yiu's house with my sec 2 class...

speaking of spending days, just went out with 4D1 '08 yesterday... went east coast park... honestly, it felt like i wasn't meant to meet them at all... i was late cuz of army. thank goodness mr ng was still willing to grant that half day off... took 196 from bedok but didn't noe where to alight... luckily still managed it... went to east coast park... had to walk a freaking long way before i finally saw zhenning, grace, yan jing and nic wee... rented a bike... crashed into someone two minutes after renting it... scraped my right knee, left heel and hands... zzz... but still had a hell lot of fun with them la... tried roller blading after cycling... omg i suck big time at it... i think see yuan and darrin are gonna have bruises on their arms, kudos to me, as i was gripping so tightly onto their arms while trying to stand up and steady myself... =.= finally gave up after half an hour of trying... i think i made a little progress ba... now i just need to let go of the bar... =P

after slacking a while, they decided to go to the beach... we couldn't decide on what to play there but grace was struggling to get the ball, so we eventually played 'Monkey'... lolz... after that it became captain's ball... playing with 4 ppl on one team simply isn't big enough... still prefer playing with my own 4D1 ppl... hahaha... den changed to volleyball... my hands and wrists hurt like crazy after volleyball... urgh...

apparently 4D1 '08 aren't very decisive ppl, as we spent abt 20 mins trying to decide what to eat for dinner... ended up trudging over to burger king... zzz... so much for wanting to watch little nyonya... we still chatted till abt 8.45pm lolz... on the train back ying ting was gossiping at the top of her voice... so naturally e guys (including me) standing near her were all like rolling our eyes till u cld almost hear them...

hmmm... looking back at 2008... let's see what i've accomplished...

1. SD Anniversary in February
2. HR Festival in May
3. Got my driving licence in June
4. Completed JLPT 4 in December
5. Become much more active in my yongsha, in addition to ASD
6. Took up CIC role in ASD and assistant district leader role in my yongsha
7. Wasted a whole year in the army
8. Gave tuition to Justin
9. Studied Japanese for nearly a year
10. Finished working out the melody of 'Xuan Ze' with Nicholas Rao
11. Finished the lyrics of 'Sheng Huo Jie Pai' and 'Invisible Armour'
12. Finished reading Memoirs of a Geisha, Twilight and New Moon
13. Rubbed out some unnecessary memories
14. Managed to feel less emo

not a bad list... to me at least... haha... not trying to boast or anything... just wanted to prove to myself that i still can do lots of things despite sacrificing so much time to army...

do i have any new year's resolutions? well... not really, i guess... cuz from what i've observed from many people, including myself, that hardly anyone sticks to their resolutions... resolutions are made for the sake of making... how many people remember their resolutions one week after making them? lolz... so i don't think i'm gonna make any this year. just live out this coming year to the best of my ability and make sure i have no regrets... =)

2009... ORD is finally in sight... tho it's still some months away... but that oso means i'm leaving ASD soon... is that a good thing? have i remained in ASD for too long? it really will pain me a lot to leave ASD... i'm not sure i'm ready to enter NUSSD yet... i've never been good with change... and this is going to be a really major one for me to make... i've sunk my roots deep and long into ASD and now having to pull them up is going to cause me excruciating pain... i've so many memories of ASD, both good and bad... thank goodness more good than bad... i've grown to love this family so much... without ASD i really won't be the person i am today... i noe wan xiang wldn't approve of what i feel... he'd want me to move on... but it really is difficult... to all my beloved ASD juniors, please treasure your time in ASD, as it really will just flash past like that...

warning: to all who have yet to watch twilight and do not wish to be exposed to any form of spoilers, please kindly divert away from this page now...

went to watch twilight with zhenning, see yuan and nic wee yesterday... hansen was sposed to come too... but he cldn't wake up in time, even though the movie was at 1.40pm... =.=... but anyway, the movie was mainly a visual summary of the book, as usual... but i was quite impressed that it actually managed to capture most of the main scenes in the book, which i felt was good... though somehow i got the feeling that bella wasn't smitten enough with edward... she's got like this fetish for the scent he gives off, to the extent she even sniffs at the sweater he gives her... don't see any of that in the movie... not the sniffing part... but more of the smitten-with-this-guy-that-can't-possibly-exist kind of thing would have made it more convincing... n by nw, even if u haven't caught e movie u wld haf heard all dis swooning over the male lead, Robert Pattinson, from gals everywhere, over how handsome he is, how cute his tousled hair looks like and whatnot... well, all i can do without getting blasted by these gals is most probably to just roll my eyes ba... he's sort of like become the next Daniel Radcliffe or something... ppl now instead of squealing "Oh! There's Harry Potter!", they scream "Oh! There's Edward Cullen!"... pity there isn't much to swoon over the female lead for... not to say Kristen Stewart isn't pretty... but the character of Isabella Swan wasn't meant to be extremely attractive in the first place anyway... to say the least, she pales in comparison to Edward Cullen, as described in the book... she's meant to ba... haha... pls kindly refrain from unnecessary abuse to this blogger, as this is the blogger's humble two or three cents' worth... though i must say, Ashley Greene actually does look quite attractive, especially in real life... her character of Alice itself exudes quite a bit of charm and charisma... but maybe that's what the book calls for ba... one of my favourite characters in Twilight... can't wait for New Moon to be produced...

i know perfectly well how Edward Cullen feels like when he's dating Bella Swan... it's what i'm feeling everyday now... now that i'm forcing myself to refrain from eating this, that and the other... omg... i nv knew i had all this willpower in me... to be able to walk past Old Chang Kee and have the smells from it blow in my face and me being able to walk away buying nothing takes nothing short of a Herculean effort... sobz...

can't wait for Jan's ASD inst mtg... woots~!

went zouk wif some asd ppl ytd... sometimes i reli dun understand y dey wld put demselves thru tt kind of torture... squeezing through the crowd and remaining squeezed throughout the entire time wasn't exactly my idea of fun... saw chock there tho... nt exactly surprised... he reli lives up to e name of mambo king... lolz... n to top it off... of all ppl i had to bump into, i had to bump into qiuyi, eleanor and clarence... e gals looked insultingly surprised, while clarence... well... nt as if u duno hw he usually is... one look at me n it triggered off the i-am-going-berserk-now actions... oh well... probably will hear more from him durin e 4d1 chalet ba...

speaking of which, is tmr... wonder if clarence wld haf told all e others tt i acty go to zouk... can hear all e teasin n insults already...

left zouk at 3am... bumped into mark... lolz... at least he din seem so surprised... =p whole bunch of us went to sit at e walkway nxt to zouk... talked abt life... took a big bunch of fotos... finally decided to trudge home... cabbed back... thank gdness there wuz a long line of taxis waitin outside... haha...

nearly forgot... went to support andrew at his band concert last nite too... which i muz admit, reli wuz quite a gd one... e third symphony... omg... nearly went into spasms when i saw andrew playin an alto flute... >.< miss playin in a band so much... reli shld consider joinin nie band if i ever get e chance...




i managed to smile when i thought of her... but at the same, at the back of my mind, i couldn't help but feel she was a filthy hypocrite...

can't believe those pics would spark off so many comments from asd hahaha... had those pics buried in my com for e longest time le... got much more actually... just some of them are too random and too sia suay to put on facebook... sia suay for me la... u might haf noticed i have no qualms on putting sia suay pics of others... =p

met up wif my flute section on monday... pity quite a number of ppl cldn't make it... oso can't help it... i got no choice but to put it either on a wkend or public hol... aniwae those hu did come... we reli had a whale of a time!!! first time eatin modesto's pizza... e ultra large one... chloe took nearly an hr to finish hers... no exaggeration there... she said she wanted to savour her food... but tt's teeming along the lines of overdoing it... =.= haha... laughed at n joked abt chloe as usual... she's forever like e life of e section... always laughin gigglin makin silly jokes n lookin blur! i drove junhong, chloe and matthew ard... had quite a gd time... took quite a number of pics... tho none of which chloe has sent me yet! grrr... but overall we reli had a blast and i can't WAIT till we haf our nxt one!!!

there're so many things i wanna learn in this 5 months!!!!!!!!!!!! sadly, i lack the time and money to do them...

1. learn econs - been on my list for some time le... but haven't actually gotten down to learning much of it yet...

2. learn guitar - my mum's kinda discouraging me from learning it cuz i want too many things and have too little time and money... not very sure hw long a guitar course will last too... so duno how much money i will dwindle away...

3. further my competence in my dear flute - i really dun wanna let go of my flute... those 6 years with my darling really were some of the best times in my life! and i really wanna find that feeling again!!! but a good Altus 1007 flute costs ~$4000!!! omg... faintz...

4. further my studies in jap - for this, i don't feel much guilt as i'm already into it... just completed JLPT 4 on sunday, hope i passed it well... really wanna continue wif e pre-advanced course in Bunka and go to a university in Japan with NUS's Student Exchange Programme!

So many things in store for me! Life awaits...

am i suffering from OCD? in case, you're wondering OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For scientific information, go and google it. lolz...

i really do suspect that i'm suffering from mild OCD. there must be a reason y i always have to make sure i put my gongyo book down with a snap loud and sharp enough for me, otherwise i redo that action over and over again. there must be a reason why i keep tuggin at my prayer beads till i feel i've achieved that particular pain in my fingers. there must be a reason y my gongyo book must lie such that its breadth makes a parallel line with the edge of my butsudan. there must be a reason y i have to make sure my spectacles are laid such that the sides make a parallel line with the side of my bed when i go to sleep. there must be a reason y i have these random thoughts of death coursing through my head every now and then.

kenshu is comin up this week. kbox wif e guys is comin up this week. jlpt is comin up this week. kbox session wif su xin n e rest is comin up nxt wk. chem remedials are comin up nxt wk. y do i nt feel the slightest exhilaration?

received a letter from nus ytd... uni life is finally within view... reli hope i'll be able to share a room wif wei han... i really feel it'll b much easier to share wif someone u noe... given the way i react to strangers... lolz... kinda makes me sound autistic...

last saturday was teck kiang's wedding... haven't seen so mani of the asd alumni for a very very long time... reli great seein all of dem again!!! n i wuz reli qutie surprised to c sook yee's students fill up one big block in the diamond hall... wonder if that many of my own students will come and grace my own weddin in future... hahaha... had to rush off early for jap class tho... cldnt even stay behind to take pics wif dem... v v sad... but still met up wif tuan kiak, wei han, juay kai, stella, jianli and joel afta tt la... so still nt too bad... loved the feeling when all of us packet food frm shilin n went up to third floor for dinner... e open air area nxt to food republic... found it all cornered off... asked ard n found out there were gonna be fireworks due to vivo's 2nd anniversary celebration... but we din c it there la... onli later when some of us went off left mi, wei han, juay kai and tuan kiak den we managed to c when we went mac's to nua... hahaha... reli quite awesome... vivo apparently quite rich ar... fireworks lasted abt 5-7 mins wor... reli awesome... pity i din haf my camera wif me...

when it comes to frens... i nid to c tt some ppl go for breadth... some ppl go for depth... n some jz dun wana go near u... i nid to learn n accept tt... lest i'm goin to b verrrrrrrrryyyyy miserable for a v long time...

boku no kanojo wa doko to dare desu ka?

i have to stop living in the past. the time is here and now. stop living in memories. they are but memories and will serve nothing to help you in your current situation now. stop dwelling in them. force yourself dammit.

so many things are coming all at one shot. kenshu is next week. my remedials with the j1s are starting. jlpt is in a fortnight. andrew's concert is coming. intermediate 4 for my jap class is starting next week. omg. lolz...

i never knew music theory was so difficult. i can't even grasp simple melodic and harmonic minor scales. really don't wanna stop just like that.

haven't touched my econs book for ages. must go flip through it again when i have the time.

my chem notes for the j1s also only managed to prepare the first few topics. it's really hell tryin to recall all that content. zzzzz...

caught 'body of lies' with vanessa ytd nite. i'm reli nt cut out for late night movies. e movie was ok only la. but i tink it'll make gd gp material lolz...

i'm addicted to driving...

ok, so i've been scheduled to have my wisdom teeth extracted. dentist arranged for me to have all 4 of them out at one shot but all my frens haf blasted at me for making that silly arrangement due to the incredible amount of pain i'm sposed to feel after doin that, so i'm gonna reduce it to taking 2 out, spread over 2 separate extractions, esp since 2 of them are still buried in my gums... >.<

that kinda throws a wrench into my plans for giving remedials to my j1s... i've already prepared the notes and all rdy to teach but now this surgery is gonna screw up my plans a little... apparently i'm nt gonna even be able to talk... sigh...

but on the bright side, my frens said it's gonna hurt to the extent i wun b able to eat much, so it's gonna be a liquid diet for a few days and even afta tt i probably oso wun b able to eat much solid stuff, so hopefully that'll make me slightly more petite than i am now? *crosses fingers

so much has happened recently. my 4D1 '08 has finally finished their o's... so happy for them. their prom oso over le... some of them really look soooooooo different in formal wear. hahaha... heard some new gossip in 4D1 too... dis class ar... from day 1 i teach them till now the gossip is really endless... lolz...

just realised there're so many things i really wanna do before i ord... like i mentioned in my prev entry, i wanna learn econs n modern dance... n now to add to e list, i wanna beef up my music theory as well... i'm definitely getting a macbook for uni and i dream of writing my own music with it in uni... but i tink b4 i do tt i really gotta go beef up on my music theory, otherwise no point i keep hearing all these tunes in my head but dunno how to pen them down... 2 yrs of losing contact with music does set u back quite a bit...

went for 'choir practice' with shan shan and li ling they all for teck kiang's wedding yesterday night... so excited abt it! really can't wait for teck kiang's wedding day... but gotta reach tsc by 9.45am for those helping out... sobz...

jlpt is comin so soon... and i still haven revised for it... argh... so gonna fail...

One of these days, one of these days, I will die, not from anything else, but from my own perfectionistic thinking and desire. Is this what anorexia and bulimia feels like? The constant desire to want something. Anorexics and bulimics yearn for weight loss. Perfectionists like me yearn for that ideal situation that can never be attained. I know that. So why do I still yearn for that? Why do I still continue to think so much into everything that matters not?

So many people are ord-ing this week. Pisses me off? Kind of, I guess. But oh well, what to do? I still got a farking 6 months left.

There are still so many things I wanna do before I ord. I wanna learn econs. I wanna learn modern dance. I wanna learn how to feel good about myself. I wanna learn how to accept myself for who I am.

Let's see now.

1. Econs. I never had the chance of learning Econs in JC, seeing that JJC had the wisdom to stop students from taking Biology and Econs in the same combination, since it appeared too heavy for them, though why they allowed students to take the triple science combination really surpasses the limited wisdom that I have.

2. Modern Dance. Don't look at me like that. I wanna dance. I've always liked dancing. That feeling of working it out on the dance floor was a great feeling. I always loved it when I danced with ASD. Our SD anniversaries were always great! Maybe I should get Kenneth to teach me modern dance. ^_^

3. I really wanna stop being a perfectionist.

Another emo entry...

just came back from malaysia a couple of days ago. just a little update... went with yu siang, wei han and juay kai... first time i went overseas with friends... went kl and genting for 3d2n... 1.5 days each... lolz...

for kl, i guess there really isn't anything special about that place ba... mainly did shopping... lots and lots of it... feel like i went shopping for other people rather than myself... cuz i kept buying presents for every1 but myself... bought some stuff for myself la... but somehw feel it's really v little... lolz... e bargaining was crazy though... juay kai was simply amazing... hahaha! esp at the night market...

for genting... it's a place i wld wana go just once... i don't tink i'll ever wanna go genting ever again in my life... i'm too young to gamble... the theme parks... when u've ridden one ride, u've ridden dem all... lolz... esp since my tolerance level for exciting rides is quite low... i got queasy from riding the pirate ship! wad kind of a loser m i? lolz... watchin yu siang and juay kai sit in the corkscrew roller coaster and space shot made me feel very thankful i wasn't on either of them. i think the ride i really enjoyed most was the spinner, where you sit on a seat dangling from metal chains, like a swing and it spins you round and round at quite a high speed... sounds lame but it moves up and down apart from spinning round n round... so it was quite fun for me la at least... lolz...

yu siang and wei han also learnt the basics of bridge when we had our late night card games... hahaha... they enjoyed it a lot and said it's much more interesting than daidee... hope we get to play again haha...

shared a room wif wei han for 2 nights... might as well get used to it la, since i'm gona share a dorm wif him in uni next yr hahaha...

my invisible armour simply hasn't been coming along... nic pointed out quite a few holes in it which i seriously gotta patch up... but haven't had the motivation to do...

feeling empty inside...

i need to stop being so sentimental... i need to stop living in the past... i really really really need to move on...

i really miss asd... not the asd that i'm in right now... the asd that i was in when i wuz in j1 and j2... more of j1 ba... i really love the feeling of camaraderie i experienced then... not that i don't feel it now... but being around those guys really made me feel so special... feel that i belong... feel that i've found my place... and now that we've all moved on... i really can't help missing those days...

i think we really should have a gathering for our pioneer batch of asd-ians... i really really want to relive those days...

so many people are gonna ord so soon... mine is sooooooooooooooo far away...

saw the new macbook last week... really totally fell in love with it... must get it for my uni laptop...

i need inspiration...

so many things have been happening recently. where should i begin?

going malaysia with juay kai, yu siang and wei han this nov... kl n genting for 3d2n... it ain't much... but it sure beats staying in camp...

oh yeah! just remembered what i wanted to blog about... shawn borrowed this book from the library that highlights errors in grammar in everyday life, such as 'return back' and 'free gift' (in case you're still wondering, 'return' already consists of 'back' and if a gift isn't free, then it wouldn't be a gift, would it?) and the author himself includes sarcastic remarks every so often. i picked it up and thumbed through quite a number of pages before i flipped to the first chapter to officially begin reading and nearly flung the book aside once i saw the title of Chapter 1, which was, printed in big, bold letters, "GRAMMAR ERRORS". i didnt know whether to laugh or to feel disgusted. maybe a little of both... FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE DUDE! IT'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS OR ERRORS IN GRAMMAR! grammar errors... honestly... and i think what really takes the cake is that this author is picking out grammatical errors in everyday life. gosh.

dun feel like blogging anymore lolz. to my dearest 4D1 '08, 'O' levels are next week, so if you read this (why are you reading this? GO STUDY!), ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR 'O' LEVELS OK? I'LL BE ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

why do i feel so resistant against turning 20? that jump in the first digit of my age. does it really matter that much to me? is my life just gonna flash past my eyes because i'm turning 20? my branch ic says once i turn 20 my life will pass by very fast. >.< somebody please let me turn back the clock...

already turning 20, yet so many things still unaccomplished. what am i still waiting for?

another soldier died a couple of days ago. i was one of the first few nsfs to know, since my branch deals with training. really really very sad. cherish those around you, people, cuz you never know when you won't have the chance again. most of all, cherish yourself. love yourself.

funny i should say that, cuz i haven't been able to love myself recently. once again, the issue of my weight has been brought up. i'm fat. period. and the best thing is, it's entirely my fault, cuz i refuse to exercise and curb my diet. sometimes really hate myself for being this way. do i have a choice? many people say i do. does that mean i do? or is this way of doubting what others say merely an excuse for myself? i have tried umpteen times to slim down. where do i find the determination? can somebody tell me? people always tell me, "you must have the determination~! you must have the determination~!" right ok, i get you. so where can i get it? cuz somehow, it just isn't in me!

you'd think all this self-hate would spark off an anorexia or bulimia streak. sadly, it won't. i love eating too much. probably spark off a binge. eating does make me feel better. loads better. seeking solace in food. that physical sensation that masks the emotional pain.

so much for the emo talk. some of the guys gonna ord nxt month. clearing leave... clearing ffi... teaching understudy... when's it gonna be my turn? lolz...

oh well, happy advanced birthday to me!

i'm sian cuz i ate a banana. dun laugh. i'm supposed to go for a medical appointment 2 days from now and bananas are one of the things i'm supposed to avoid. =.= i.e. my test results are gonna be inaccurate. sucks to have high blood pressure.

He trudges down the street, step after step after step. "Why do you still even exist? Can't you see everyone hates you? Can't you see that you should just die? Can't you see you'll never be loved?" the loneliness in him seemed to scream. "I'm your only friend now, you pathetic creature!"

He stops and allows himself to crash onto the merciless concrete. In the distance, a black figure could be seen moving so lightly, as though floating, towards him. A black, hooded figure. The liquid diamonds in his orbs swirl and twinkle, as though mocking him, in all his wasted misery. The diamonds well and surge and scar his face, as they form a stream down his cheek, before hitting the concrete. The trickle of maroon joins, turning puce as it touches the colourless liquid and spreading out in a collage across his face. A ghost of a smile steals across his lips.

The black figure approaches, inching ever closer towards him, with its black hood. He looks up and relief sweeps over him, welcoming and inducing the figure towards him. The figure, at long last, looms before him, dripping evil. The figure extends a clawed hand to him and seizes his soul. He expresses no reluctance, almost as if willing the black figure to take him. As his soul parts his body, his orbs die, his body goes limp. He is free.

The black figure clings on to his soul, almost lovingly. In a flash of dark fire and a hint of a skullish grin, the Grimreaper vanishes, with its new prey.

feel pretty much shitty these few days. is it my own fault? is it the fault of those around me? or am i just plain emo?

writing dark stuff really boosts my mood. ok, no need for the wide-eyed stare or disbelieving snort. it's like ripping that stuff from within after letting it accumulate from what i've been feeling these past few days. total darkness.

how can i be free when i'm completely trapped in my own head?

reading su wei's blog made me feel compelled to pen another entry on our pps mid-autumn gathering... my mind's still so full of all the jabber and cam-whoring we did tt day...

if you go check out either su wei's or my facebook photo albums, you'll be able to get a sneak peek of what happened that night... i tink the things that hit me the most really were the old photos and autograph books... i dun care if i'm repeating from a previous entry or what but those things reli made me wish that i could go back to the past again... as wad peiru said, if i could live until 70 years old, i would only want to live till 60 years old, and relive the first 10 yrs of my schooling ilfe... the times when i had THE MOST FUN~! i'd alr forgotten my first self-initiated outing was in pri sch, when i went with kai wen, janet, su wei, jasmine, louis and quite a few others whom i cant reli rmb cuz they were from other classes... one thing i do rmb is that we made janet cry at the end... =p but in e end we still apologised, so dun angry le k janet? =p lookin at those photos really just made my heart melt. that was i think the first and last time i saw kai wen tuck in his shirt in a public place. hey guys, if any of you read this, shall we go organise a trip back to that place when we're all free one day? the autograph books oso made me laugh like crazy. got wad gold frens silver frens bronze frens... goes to show hw childish we were in those times... but honestly, wad wldnt i gif to go back to those times again...

pps bbq in dec? su wei said we'll all bring our autographs books there and expose everyone who wrote in them. hahaha~!

i dun reli care how i sound like when i pen this entry bcuz i doubt many ppl haf this chance to say hw much fun they can still haf wif frens they meet so rarely and can co-exist with so comfortably for that number of hrs... no kidding... meet at 8.30pm n talk cock n cam-whore till 2+am in the morning at e 24 hr mac...

looking forward to pps bbq dis yr... and mid-autumn nxt yr...

This week has been like the best week of my life so far this year!!! Ok, so i was wrong about not having anything else apart from pps gathering to look forward to. CTSS mid-autumn gathering was also great fun, esp when i spent almost the whole thing with my 4D1 '08.

Driving to ctss was nothing short of hell, considering the peak hour traffic and the fact that the car's fuel gauge was teetering towards 'E'. -.- but nevertheless, reached there safely at about 8pm. found my 4D1 in no time and started snapping pics of them. alr put some of them on my facebook, so check them out if you want to... they went on this march outside the perimeter of the school, holding lanterns, so it seemed like protesting against the cancellation of mid-autumn festival... we walked all the way to the track next to the school. for some reason, they decided to sit down in a circle and sing i've got peace by the river... no thanks to shinfen.... haha... after they decided to head back to school, shinfen and gang were surrounding me and ensuring that i had that song firmly ingrained in my mind by singing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over AGAIN~! haha... ran over to zhenning, kai siang and nic wee for cover. this 3 oso got this weird habit of saying hi to strangers in an exuberant way... but i guess that's 4D1 all over ba... the craziness that bonds them... found out that yilin is dating aven... hopefully neither of them reads this... =p went over to speak to mr chiang for a short while for a few words of wisdom, as always... felt a little discouraged by what he told me about teaching... sigh... we'll take things one step at a time ba... after everything ended, we trudged over to the mac opposite to chill for a short while... nothin particularly excitin happened there la... just found out that julian has quite an appetite... hahaha... and he's still so skinny~!

oso had like the best time yesterday. went out with my pps frens at long last, after waiting for sooooooooo long... a bit of cock up at first la... cuz we still couldn't decide on like what time to meet at e park... but eventually we all met up and started talkin... guys, as usual, since we dun haf much of a civilian life, talked non-stop abt army life and how f-ed up it is... hahaha... some of us saluting eng hong when we saw him... ;) quite surprised to c him there acty... cuz reli haven heard frm him for e longest time... eng hong left early to meet his jc frens for a bdae celebration... den we trudged over to pioneer mall's mac, where we sat until 2am in e morning... no worries abt last bus or train, simply cuz we all live within walkin distance of each other... it's a small neighbourhood... =) su wei and jasmine brought along some pri sch fotos and autograph books that we all laughed at... hw we looked like in e past and wad we wrote in those autograph books... seriously reli brings back loads and loads and loads of v v fond memories... u guys reli r the best thing that ever happened to me... reli hope we can gather again in dec!!!

really very excited about our pps mid-autumn festival meet up. in case you're wondering, pps stands for pioneer primary school. my batch was the first batch that went through a full 6 years in that school. ^_^

just like janet said, really hope ppl like hsien ee and kai wen, who have just enlisted, can come on that day with no worries. shouldn't be a prob la, i guess. hsien ee should be on block leave but maybe kai wen might face a bit of prob, being a commando. haha.

oso really looking forward to seeing more pps ppl coming this year. last year actually got quite a few le but i think this time round better have more people lolz... i'm really like so hyped up about this!!!

i thought i'd have a lot of things to look forward to this september but guess i'm sorely mistaken. besides this meet up wif my pri sch mates can't seem to find any other bright spot this september. grrrr...

suddenly mid-autumn festival feels more real now that it's actually coming... really looking forward to seeing that big bunch of peeps again... like i said, how many people still can say their primary school friends still meet up on such a basis? haha...

CFG tomorrow. Sigh, i've really let nicholas down.

i really want ASD to cut an album. i really really really want that to happen!!! ASD has created so many wonderful tunes and songs and it really would be such a terrible waste to use it just once and forget all about it! we could cut an album and send it to Sensei! he'd really be happy to see and hear it. music transcends all languages!

went to Friday rendezvous yesterday. wonder what made su xin write such sad lyrics.

Yes Janet, mid-autumn festival is coming~! haha, to all those readin this post with a -.^ expression, my pri sch frens usually meet up during mid-autumn festival. last yr was so much fun~! this yr all betta gather oso hor! haha...

supposed to organise outing for e rts b4 reks leaves for england again... but everybody's so bz nowadays... gona b a little difficult...

CFG is coming~! haha, everything is more or less falling into place. i've also given away quite a number of invitations. really want all my members to grow from this.

got a lousy 74 for my mid-term test for my Jap class Intermediate 2 course. my lowest score so far. but apparently it's quite a gd score for my class le la, since ms torinomi said there were quite a few others who didn't do well at all... jap really isn't as easy as it looks... zzz... some more i'm sitting for JLPT 4 at the end of this year. really must go and practise liaoz... apparently the listening comprehension is a killer, considering the rate at which japanese speak and the fact that the recording is only played once. sianz... but i'm sure i can pass la! challenge JLPT 3 next year~!

oso met a student from Soka University of Japan last saturday at district 4's zadankai. he said i speak very good japanese... >.< ok la maybe that's cuz not many singaporeans can speak japanese... but when i speak to him oso bits and pieces here and there la, cuz honestly the level which i've studied till simply isn't enuff for fluent conversation. haha...

prelims are coming soon for my o lvl students. all of u guys must jiayou jiayou jiayou ok? after prelims den full steam ahead for o's le! rmb dun burn out after prelims. peak during o lvls not prelims!!!

i'm a lousy teacher... urgh~

wow... today has just been the most gruelling day... well actually not really la haha... here goes...

woke up at 9.30am today... got nagged by dad a while den toppled back to bed... dragged myself out of bed at 11.30 to do morning gongyo... den headed down to syc to meet nicholas n his new fren... sposed to b at 1pm but ended up his fren came v late... so i cld onli spend a few mins wif his fren b4 headin up to e cic mtg upstairs... SOKA UNI STUDENTS CAME OVER!!! i wish i cld haf brought them to my zadankai but sadly the places had been taken up le... so angry... some more dey're livin in NTU nw lei... it'll be so ez for them to go back hostel from my zadankai... albeit my zadankai is chinese-speakin but i'd haf bin more den willin to translate... lolz... but no sense complaining now la... chant hard to go for the SEP in NUS den i can see soka uni students all i want... wahaha... but all was not lost... managed to make a fren... pretty gal called Takako Urabayashi... japanese somehow r always veri impressed tt someone can speak their native language n she reli did seem quite impressed... i was quite impressed with her command of english too... not all japanese who bother to pick up english can speak it that fluently... i really want NUS Faculty of Science to set up connections with Soka University so that it will be part of the list of universities i can choose from if and when i apply for SEP in future!!! LOLZ!!! tt reli will be wonderful... muz chant v hard for tt to happen...

ASD daimokukai nxt fri... still haven planned anithin yet... >.< i'm really slackin v badly in asd...

I WANT TO ORD!!! I WANT TO GO SOKA UNI!!!

i want to hold you in my arms, stand at the edge of the sky and feel the wind blow...

after hearing about Qing Rui's death i must admit i was shaken. heard about it from zhenhui the day after he passed away, which was quite a number of days ago but felt compelled to pen down my own thoughts after reading a blog entry. a guy my age has just been embraced in the arms of the Grimreaper just like that. when zhenhui first told me about it, it really gave me a shock. the guy who was in my sec sch and jc just passed on like that. i don't know him very well, just know that he existed but still, it undoubtedly shook me. just how fragile is life? who suffers more? the one lying there? or the ones crowding around the one lying there?

but what disturbs me more is how we take people and the things we have for granted all the time. we always assume people will always be there for us, so we just carry on with our lives like that. only when the Grimreaper pays a visit do people really open their eyes and see. people are all like that, aren't they? we look but do not see. we hear but do not listen. we touch but do not feel. after the Grimreaper has visited, people open their eyes for a while, only to let them slam shut again and continue with their lives. who is more cruel? the Grimreaper? or is it Time? Time, who trudges on steadily without stopping, leaving a trail of destruction, despair and regret, with us trailing behind it, struggling to keep up. sometimes, i don't feel it's the Grimreaper who's the cruel one.

the fastest way to lose your ideal impression of someone is to know their true impression of you. that's what happened with my 4D1 today. apparently i'm known as 'the matrices guy' to them. hahaha. not that it's a bad thing, but dunno y made me feel a little down. today was the first session of night focus with my new students. actually i quite like them, cuz they were pretty much attentive, though, as usual, i was talking at the speed i would with a pure science class. i feel so stunted with the amount of content covered in a sub science class too! gosh, there're so many things i wanna tell them but because practically all of it is not in their syllabus and i don't wanna confuse them so i gotta leave it out. zzz...

so much for my passion for ASD. i've seriously been neglecting my members and haven't even found out whether they're going for the student peace lecture tomorrow or not! lidat how to be cic? zzz... gonna get scolding from teck kiang if he found out. haiz... don't know what's gotten into me these days. my schedule is like so freaking packed and i don't know how to manage my time properly. 2 weekday evenings taken up by tuition for justin... another 2 weekday evenings for night focus at ctss... that leaves me with 1 weekday evening to relax and my weekends... sunday evening i have jap class. weekend mornings i luv to sleep until v late, even though my mom always screams at me when i do that. =p ok so my life is really nothing short of cramped up and overflowing at the moment. gotta save some time for my CFG and yongsha activities. haiz... really v v tired sometimes... but no choice... must go all out! otherwise how to be a worthy disciple of ikeda sensei?

meeting the guys for breakfast at jp mac tml... wonder if i can wake up early enough or not... hahaha~!

shuli was right. one really does feel more emo at night. actually i knew that long ago la, just that i never felt emo while having the urge to blog.

i really have this great urge to go to Japan to study, even if it's just for a few months! i noe i've blogged about this loads of times le but i really just feel so hyped up about it! i've already set my sights on Waseda University. After hearing Julian talk about it i went and did some research on it and it really is quite reputable in Tokyo. The best thing is it's in the same city as Soka University, so going Soka Uni to visit shouldn't pose too much of a problem. it'll be great too, going there and attending meetings there. best if i can live with a member. ^_^ den i'll even be able to understand n c for myself how japanese culture really is like. haha. really must get my jap honed well, otherwise just gonna crash n burn there. hahaha.

well, so much for building castles in the air. gotta make sure i work my way up to the mark first n chant hard tat i'll get tat...

been slackin in terms of gakkai recently... haven't been contacting my members in ASD, haven't been giving my all in yongsha... pent-up guilt... i seem to live in a world of guilt n self-stress all e time. whenever i don't do anything up to e standard which i know i shld n can achieve, that little voice in the back of my head will whisper how i shld do it better n all that... gosh... lolz... that's what goes on in the mind of a perfectionist! and it doesn't help that i'm including more things in my schedule. night focus is startin next week, which takes up 2 evenings a week. justin's tuition oso takes up 2 evenings a wk. wkday evenings mind u, which means rushing from work all e time. jap clz is every sunday but i'm used to that le la... in fact, i really look forward to jap class... reli enjoy ms torinomi's classes a lot... she's such a great tchr... reli my gd fortune to get her... must get a tchr hu's as good as her for my pre-advanced lvl in future. ;)

haven't contacted my members for tuesday's SPL... haiz... chang jie gona kill me le... loads of things on my to-do list...

this post will contain certain spoilers about the movie: The Dark Knight, so to all who have yet to watch the movie and intend to do so please click one of the links below to divert away from my blog. gracias.

went to watch the dark knight with kelvin they all last night. lolz, i think it really was quite a good movie la, especially since it kept me at the edge of my seat. batman wasn't really all that great. more of joker ba. the way that mad genius thinks really amazes me and i really gotta salute him for the way he comes up with certain things. and one thing that i do agree with him is that humans' source of fear is the lack of knowledge. not academic knowledge, knowledge of what is going to happen. doesn't it happen to all of us? when we don't know what is going to happen, we become scared. why are some people scared of cockroaches and bugs but their fear vanishes the moment they get their hands on a can of bug spray? you don't know where that cockroach is going to run next or what it might do to you, hence you fear it. but once you know that you can knock it out easily with your bug spray, your fear vanishes. moral of the story: The source of fear is the lack of knowledge. TwoFace was also a little lame i guess. but the way the poor guy's face got burnt was really freaky. the way his face looked like after the burn isnt going to disappear from my mind soon.

mrs yong still hasnt reverted to me on my status in the FOCUS programme. really want to go back to teaching my 4D1 again. reli miss teaching them to bits. but i've never actually taught them chemistry before though.

got loads of work to do in office but don't feel like doing anything. ORD... when are you coming? sobz...

suddenly have so much to say but don't know where to start from... maybe i should start off with the FOCUS programme ba...

to those who are alien to the focus programme, it's the programme my sec sch has been implementing for all 4E/5N students taking o's to stay back after sch hrs to study n my sec sch has appealed to e alumni for help in coaching dem. being e sucker which i m, i agreed. mrs yong (my hod of sci) asked me to take 10 5N students for focus in chemistry. can't exactly turn her down, though i know too well that i want to take back my 4D1. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE 4D1, PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!!! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU SWIVELLING IN MY HEAD AND MAKING ME MISS TEACHING ALL THIS TIME EVEN THOUGH I'VE STOPPED TEACHING YOU FOR MORE THAN A YEAR!!! ARRRGGHHHH~~!!!! lolz, paiseh. don't blame me. i really love this bunch of kids and this is my last chance to be able to teach dem again. but then again, i guess it just wasn't meant to be.

jap class today was just anal. couldn't really concentrate when studying with a big bunch of strangers. sucks taking replacement lesson. ms yamamoto... guess i'm not used to her teaching style ba. but i really can't stand her small handwriting and equally small voice. she oso will give these farnie expressions when her students make mistakes leh. lolz. can't wait to go back to ms torinomi's class next sunday!

recently i've been getting super hyped up about the SEP in NUS again. i really want to be able to go over to Japan on the SEP and spend a few months there. but the standard of living there is really ridiculously high and i shudder to think of the cost that i will incur. staying like 4-5 months there will easily incur S$10 000 le leh. omg!!! the thought of staying with a gakkai member did cross my mind but i wonder if any will be willing to let me intrude for a whopping 1/3 of the year? especially since things are so expensive there i don't know if i'll be able to afford the rent there too. oh well, every year some Soka University students from the Faculty of Economics exchange with NUS for about 10 days. maybe i can ask some of them who have connections to help me. >.< but all this is still totally hypothetical of course. it all depends on whether i can qualify for SEP in the first place and whether i'll actually be tied up with a university in Japan. MUST CHANT HARD! really must have the good fortune.

sarwan, yishen, jiahao, jerry n fabian have finally ord-ed. things over in my office now are really so much quieter. i'm sorry to see them go but it also means i've crossed another checkpoint in my army life. another step closer to pink ic. lolz.

YMD formation day concert tomorrow. still struggling very hard to get kelvin to go with me tmr. going to do up the nanyang chapter song tmr, den gona go bugis to shop for clothes with juay kai and wei han n finally gonna head over to tampines to watch the ymd formation day concert at 4pm. another super hectic day ahead. but at least it'll be fulfilling. doing something for gakkai. haha. otherwise will feel very guilty if i don't do something for gakkai over the weekend when i have so much time.

yearning for a girlfriend? amazingly not recently. really haven't had the time to feel emo about this. even when i do feel emo i don't think about that anymore. maybe wait till after army when i can devote tons more time to this then see ba.

i want to teach 4D1... lolz...

this past weekend really has been such a fulfilling one! where shall i start? ok let's take it from the top.

Saturday morning: Went for ASD Connexion! Haha, was late, as usual. But was very encouraged when i saw so many ASD-ians there. went over to siloso beach and had our games. games overun by more den an hour =p but it was really really fun. all going crazy together, esp for the touch rugby and captain sponge. paiseh to penny, carys n serene though, cuz i kinda left them out for rugby. =p cuz too into the game le ma, then just chiong n forgot about everything. >.< then came the sharing from the year 1s and graduates. quite surprised that kenneth and eng peng were sharing. thought it'd be somebody else. haha. shuli shared on behalf of the graduates. she was damn zai, as usual. but listening to her story really made me feel for her n made me feel really sorry that asd is going to lose her. after everything ended, went to pig out with qi jun, kenneth, min kit, jun jie n chang jie for lunch. damn hungry la, given that we ended connexion at about 2pm. yapped and yapped over lunch. really miss that kind of feeling. =)

Saturday afternoon: Finally went home after lunch. Really felt like dozing off but couldn't cuz had to bathe and finish my gongyo before heading out to Gary Cao Ge's concert~!!! WOOTS! Supposed to meet Jeron at 5.30pm but he only came at 6pm. =.= worse then me. then waited a little while more for his friend to come along and finally boarded the train to head for e indoor stadium. reached kallang surprisingly quickly. went to catch bus 11. actually could have taken it de but jeron suggested taking cab and we walked off, giving up our position at the bus stop. haven't even left the bus stop bus 11 came le... =.= den end up we couldnt squeeze in n had to cab to the stadium. =.=''' concert started half an hour late but it was worth it la. cao ge emerged from the stage wearing this white suit that makes him look like a drag queen and pair that up with that flaming red hair. LOLZ! i know i'll probably get murdered by other Cao Ge fans but i really felt a bit -.^ when i saw it. haha. ok, before you guys get all agitated, i assure you i'm a hardcore Cao Ge fan too. just that i couldn't stand his dress sense and hair colour, that's all. ;) i loved his Superwoman, Bei Pan and Liang Shan Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye. Genie Zhuo looks so cute! Really, she'd make a great pair wif Gary, looks-wise. Gary's got quite a good sense of humour too. but i'm probably just saying that cuz i'm his fan ba. the way he mimicked the hokkien and singaporean accent really was just hilarious. and i really like the way he addresses his fans, so sincere. really really can't wait for his next album to be released. hurry up and get it done dude~! but the down part of the concert for me i guess would be the ending ba. didn't really end on a very high note. and some stupid gal in front of me kept standing up every time cao ge came near and blocked my view and end up i couldn't get any good shots of him. urgh, makes my blood boil just thinking about it. so shall not think about it. haha. returning home was quite a torture, so shall not talk about it here. i'm so gonna drive the next time i go watch a concert.

Sunday morning: Couldn't wake up. Dad had to kick me in the ass, literally, before i deigned to move.

Sunday evening: Went for jap class as usual. Jap test was quite ok la. the oral test was surprisingly manageable. and i didn't expect to just pwn the written test. got 9/10 for oral. got 94/100 for written test. best news is that my entire class can move up together to intermediate 2. really want to be in the same class again. really like my bunch of classmates. very nice bunch of people. ^_^ already signed up for intermediate 2, kudos to johnny.

something to be guilty about is that i never really devote myself to gakkai this past weekend ba, except for connexion, which i spose can't really be counted, since it was a day of fun and games, though i did have dialogue with a few of my members.

wonder if i'm going to start my chemistry revision with my j1s and j2s soon. haha, it's quite near to promos and a's le.

and now to face this shitty week ahead, with its multiple arrows. sigh.

somehow i don't seem to be able to understand my brother anymore... in the twinkling of an eye, he's turned 15 and i really don't seem to understand him... does this mean i have failed as a brother? or is he simply going through this difficult stage which i don't seem to fathom, even though i've been through that age before...

the next big thing of course is our ASD Connexion!!! woots... jellynn n i r in charge of e graduates item... but honestly can't seem to think of anything as yet... really want to make this a memorable one for my juniors... esp since i've had three really enjoyable connexions myself... discussing our item now... must produce a great item for this connexion~!

got back my jap mid-term test results 2 weeks ago... 86/100... quite a decent score la... but still lost to johnny, as always... passing intermediate 1 shouldn't be a problem now la... called Bunka to confirm... and yes~! Ms Torinomi is going to be my teacher from now till the end of Intermediate 4!!! WOOHOO~!!! she's quite a good teacher la though, as Lip Wei said, she can be a bit blur at times... n that teal eyeliner is a bit... lolz... but she's quite good la, on the whole... unlike... ok shall not say more... =p

tradoc duty tomorrow then cdo duty on wednesday... busy busy week... some more i got tuition lined up as well... this week again will be busy from monday to sunday... actually today still ok, cuz hong wei couldn't make it for tuition, so could take a breather today... hope the rest of the week won't overwhelm me...

心灵的空虚是不能用实际的东西来添补的...

WOOHOO!!! i'm officially no longer an L-plate user... unfortunately i'm now a P-plate user... having a licence really made my day, though the number of points which i passed with was kind of deplorable... wonder if anyone dares to take a ride with me...

sigh, my jap dictionary is lost for gd... ms torinomi is going to intro to us to the dictionary she thinks is good... i really miss my dictionary... feel so insecure with it... this week's homework is just so difficult...

going for cic trg tmr... doubt i'll be able to wake up in time... reach telok blangah at 9.30am lei... lolz... not only mom doubts me... even i doubt myself whether i can wake up in time or not...

i haven't blogged for so long but surprisingly, i find that i don't have much to say... is my life that unworthy of penning down?

Hey hey people... i'm back from my weekend of self-indulgence... haha... tho things haven actually gone completely smoothly over the weekend...

went with andrew to ctwinds concert... met up with my flute section... haha... but honestly speaking i really was very very disappointed with e concert repertoire this time round... i tot ctwinds cld do better den this... sigh... after e concert tried to get my section together... but chloe wanted to go home, so in e end left me, andrew, junhong n anson... went trudging off together to find somewhere affordable and still open that hour... ended up in mac... =.= but at least we had a good chat... anson n junhong went off on their own after that... i went off with andrew to his house... drove his dad's car in e multi-storey carpark... ended up scraping e bumper... sorry dude! didn't dare to drive it after that =p so he gave me a lift home... reached my void deck at about 12+... didn't feel like going home, so chilled out in his car for about half an hour... honestly, how many people have a friend whom they can sit and chat with for hours? and at the same time also can sit with you and say nothing for hours and still feel just as comfortable? not many people i'm sure... talk cock till about 1+am... both of us still didn't feel like going home, so we sourced around for somewhere else to go and zoomed in on mount faber... don't ask me why... it was his suggestion haha... went there, checked out the night scene, chilled, chatted until about 2am... finally started feeling sleepy... lolz... den drove back from there... ended up reaching home at about 3am... woots... when you've got a vehicle last bus or last train doesn't apply anymore...

the next day couldn't wake up in time for tuition, so ended up telling my tutee to push it back an hr... =p went for tricia's birthday party after that... can you imagine playing cluedo at a birthday party? apparently my 4D1 guys are quite pro in it... darrin lost his handphone towards the end of the party... i don't wanna say stolen, cuz it simply wouldn't be fair to certain people but shan't talk too much about that here... apparently my 4D1 guys have got an exceptionally large appetite too... still can go for supper after eating all that at tricia's party...

and if that still wasn't enough, i went out with a couple of them the next day for karaoke at chevrons... cheong khi got so excited when she saw X Japan's "ENDLESS RAIN" was available there... haha... but one thing shitty about chevrons' karaoke is that loads of their english songs don't have their original MVs, which kinda sucks... but overall it was ok la... very cheap also... for 8 people and 2 jugs of drinks for 4 hours the total cost was only $50 altogether! i think it's really damn cheap le, compared to what kbox charges...

there're so many things i want to do... yet cuz of all these restrictions and instructions set by others, i struggle to barely even breathe sometimes...

lolz... afta dis 2 whole mths of chionging in asd, i tink time is due for me to indulge myself a little... =p goin for ctwinds concert dis fri, goin for tricia's bdae party on sat n goin for kbox wif my 4d1 '08 dis sunday... lolz... bz bz bz bz wkend!!!

oso reli wana start up e coaching service for my j1 n j2 jrs in asd soon le... dey're headin into a most impt period of their studies n i reli wana do sth for dem... some of dem im sure r reli strugglin n i cant wait to do sth for dem...

talking to chang jie ytd nite reli opened up my eyes for me and softened me up a lot inside... made me climb down so naturally and want to do so much more for asd... i reli wuz shocked when i heard one of my ymds broke down during one of e rehearsals... shall nt mention his name here but it reli struck mi when i got to noe of dis n i reli feel so touched at e amt of effort tt dey haf put in... which makes me all e more wana go all out for dem...

i left my jap dictionary in school... =.= feel so insecure wifout it...

met wif juay kai at e kenshu... but he left at nite... duno if he caught on anithin e VGDs and chiefs were sayin... oso caught up wif yee hoong at e ymd kenshu... he's matured quite a bit... haha... a grp of us went mac at abt 1am n chilled out there for a while... went back n happened to see jih yang, so chatted wif him for quite a while and now i suddenly recall y asd wuz so fun n close to mi when i first entered... i tink e ldrs make a v big difference... jih yang jia yang dey all always felt so close to us... n we ourselves oso were v close among ourselves... n now tt all my batch's comrades haf moved on, it reli is no small feat to haf tt standalone spirit... of coz, not to say tt i'm alone in asd... im def nt alone... but i reli reli miss all those peeps frm my batch... if u guys read dis, i reli miss u all loads k?

jap test on 15th jun... n i left my dictionary in school!!! ARGH~!!!! i feel so insecure wifout it, tho i'm sure i can still do reasonably well if i mug... gosh...

tt's abt it for now la... lookin forward to my nxt task in asd... ^_^

today has really been just a great day!!! our ASD May Institution Meeting really has been a tremendous success!!! true, my actors fluffed a few lines here n there... n din reli follow my stage directions v carefully but on e whole i must say it reli was a fantastic show! i'm reli touched by how my actors reli haf slogged at memorising their lines and saying dem in e appropriate way, apart frm jz reciting them... lolz... especially my dear shin'ichi... when he first read his lines i reli nearly fainted... reli pure recitation...

i reli reli will miss rehearsals (tho admittedly we didnt have many...) n i reli hope u guys haf taken sth away frm dis... e way u guys crap during break time... e way u all laugh at each other... lolz... esp ytd when joel kept laughin like crazy over toda's moustache... reli reli hope u all treasure dis v much... above all, reli hope dis has sparked off interest in u to continue to read e Human Revolution...

wonder when our nxt big thing is gona happen... reli dun wana lose dis momentum... jz wana kip goin till asd has no choice but to kick me into nussd nxt yr...

sigh... reli tired... but itz a fulfilled sense of exhaustion... been havin rehearsals these few days n i've reli enjoyed myself... haha... directing reli is fun... tho my poor asd jrs haf reli bin barked at by mi for duno hw long le...

i guess i've gotten over e fact tt we're nt usin e 3rd floor... i reli can work so much betta there... but i can understand where e iics r comin frm... so i'm nt gona get myself into a fix again... jz work towards dis sat joyfully ba!

NOTE TO ALL ASD ALUMNI!!! PLEASE COME DOWN TO JURONG KAIKAN ON 24TH MAY 2008 FOR OUR MAY INSTITUTION MEETING!!! lolz... reli nid ur support n oso do come down to c some of e new faces tt haf surfaced frm fd... =)

shall stop here for today... still got loads of things nt done...

i can't help it... i still feel extremely disappointed tt we're not using the third floor... now it's not so much of the attendance... it's really the venue!!! i can work so much magic with the stage... y can't dey c it frm my pt of view? i reli reli reli can do loads wif e stage n nw dey still insist on e hall of wisdom... e lights in IPA reli can do wonders for our skit... it reli will make it a formal production~!!! hello...... i reli reli want to make dis a production... can somebody out there understand tat? can ANYBODY out there understand tat? wif e stage, it wuz EXACTLY e way tt i portrayed it... mayb except for e curtains... but e lights alone can and WILL do wonders!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i tink my actors will oso b excited abt performin on stage too~! we'll haf so much freedom on stage, in terms of space, lights and effects!!!

i concede tt hall of wisdom is large enuff to house our target audience... but it's flat ground, for heaven's sake... i oso understand tt e audience is closer in e hall of wisdom... haiz... so itz nice n cosy hall of wisdom VS formal production in IPA... nt tt we're gona haf a fight in e 1st place... cuz i tink we're jz gona go along wif hall of wisdom... i will still do dis asd prdtn... n i will do so v joyfully wif my members, cuz dey reli r puttin in a lot of effort for all dis... n i oso luv directing plays n skits... reli enjoy it... but in terms of venue, jz bear in mind i onli concede... i nv willingly chose it... which reli is a great pity... dis obstinacy of mine... reli does haf to change... but i reli c tt it will b a great production if we haf it on e 3rd floor... it'll b really really really terrific... i reli reli tink so... WHEN WILL ASD GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO DO SO? WHEN WILL I HAVE THE CHANCE TO LEAD ASD ONTO A MAJOR STAGE PRODUCTION LIKE I'VE ENVISIONED? I REALLY WANT TO DO SO MUCH!!!

i nid to chant...

it's another super slack day here in the office... cuz mr ng is nt in office to arrow mi, thus i'm feelin super free today... well actually i feel super free everyday... which gave me some time to talk to shan shan just now...

sigh... discussin abt our beloved hr fest... both of us reli want it to work out... we reli want it to be an absolute success! but just wanting simply isn't enough... we reli gotta work it out~!

looks like i get to kip my script as it is... itz alr bin painful enuff for me to rip out certain parts of it... i seriously draw the line at cutting out any particular act in it...

hopefully my actors haf bin conscientiously committing their lines to memory... esp my shin'ichi and toda... cuz i tink even i wld haf problem memorising all those lines... itz gona b reli tough on dem... kudos to dem for puttin in e effort...

jz finished reading the bk jerry lent mi e other day... Train Man... well, all i can say is... Geeks of the world unite~! We still have hope~!!! hope mine will come along soon... but for now... gona enjoy singlehood... ;)

i feel like i'm going to collapse anytime now.

honestly, i know i have to struggle... but sometimes there's also a limit... i strive to be a disciple of Ikeda Sensei... to be a first-rate disciple... but right now i don't think i'm even a fifth-rate disciple...

for once i just don't want to think of the consequences and just rant it all out here... so if u ain't in the mood to listen to me bitch please scroll down and click on one of the links below or simply click the nice bright red cross at the top right-hand corner of the screen now...

i poured my heart and soul into writing out the script... i really did... i burnt goodness knows how much midnight oil and spent goodness knows how many hours in office rushing out the script and now they tell me they might want to TAKE OUT THE FIRST TWO ACTS OF MY SCRIPT?!?!?!?!?! honestly, when teck kiang and thai leong posed this possibility to me it really crushed me inside... the pains i went through to producing this skit... now i'm so ready to direct out this play together with kaiyi, to make this first asd production the best that i possibly can... and you tell me i'm going to have to rip out 50% of it? that's like asking me to rip out 50% of my heart man... i'm telling you here and now i cannot and will not do that and i will make sure i churn out the best production the whole of SD has ever seen... i've worked too hard for this for them to rip out such a huge chunk of it... it already pained me when siew hoon made the amendments she deemed fit... nobody told me she was going to make amendments... fine... i went along with them... crossed my heart and made the amendments... now they're telling me to rip out half of my script... then i'm telling you maybe you should take my script and direct it yourself as you deem fit... i don't care whether i appear immature or what... i'm human! i have feelings too... my life condition fluctuates within the ten worlds too! you can't expect me to remain up there now that you're telling me to make such a big change to my sweat and blood~! i'm sorry but if you're serious about telling me you want to take out the first two parts i can tell you on the spot maybe kaiyi should direct it on her own as it isn't my own work anymore...

i know i should be mature about this and learn to take it in my stride and cope with it... ppl say they understand they understand... do they really? when you worked this hard for something... the feelings you have for it is really just completely different... i tink shan shan is feeling the same way... the way the reach out comm n ics were changing the agenda like nobody's business... i'm sure she must have felt the same way... the way she was near breaking out just now...

not to say that everything's going wrong... for those actors and actresses who did come down today i think we did have a good time... we managed to have quite a good rehearsal and i think there was a good bit of laughter and whatnot so i'm really glad to see that my actors are really enjoying themselves...

i myself feel that i'm going to break down soon... taking up a director's role and being assigned to do reach out is really not a good combination...

THE HUMAN REVOLUTION: An ASD Production

today was the first rehearsal for our may institution mtg... frankly speaking im quite disappointed in the attendance... less den 10 members came for our rehearsal! has asd bin doing too little in terms of reach out? or has asd bin doin reach out wrongly? i'm reli so worried that we wun b able to put up dis hr fest... my programme comm has put in so much sweat n blood into planning for this event n i oso spent gdness noes how mani hours on my script... reli reli reli want it to b a tremendous and absolute success!!!

mayb dis is wad teck kiang wuz tellin mi abt... facin my own negativity... but sometimes itz reli difficult to haf faith tt dis whole thing will b a success... cuz by e looks of it at e moment... reli seems v v far frm it...

tml's epc cohesion... 7.30am at sentosa... hw to get down so early? even so, i doubt e internal transport in sentosa starts tt early!

makin further changes to my script... it reli kills me to take certain things out... but sometimes reli dun haf ani choice... i nid to consider viewpts of everybody... esp since if we're gona reach out to our new friends...

i'm so gona pass my driving test on e first attempt. WATCH ME!!!

well, finally churned out e latest draft of my script. URGH~! lolz... itz reli bin a super tough job. i wish i cld say itz e final draft but i noe too damn well it wun b...

first time writing such a long script. honestly, 18 pages of arial font size 10 is no joke. keeping the spirit of mentor and disciple while desperately tryin to make sure my audience wun fall aslp. gosh...

but on e bright side, at least e roles for toda and shin'ichi have been tied down. honestly i pity them, cuz i dun haf ani idea how dey're gona memorise so mani lines in such a short time, esp shin'ichi.

i reli want this to b a success. my very first major production. >.<

been doing my best to rush out the script for the HR Festival. actually have i been givin my best? sigh... i'm bloggin when i shld b puttin dis time into writin e script.

barely past act 2. strugglin like crazy bliv me. it used to b so ez to write scripts cuz i wrote dem purely frm imagination. but wif e HR, i haf to adhere closely to e storyline n make sure i can still bring out e spirit within n avoid distortin e facts. gosh... muz challenge sia... reli...

read chris's blog ytd... SEP... reli wana try out for SEP in NUS... sounds gd... bin checkin out e jap universities tt liaise wif NUS... reli hope i get chosen... it'll b gr8 to b able to spend a couple of mths there... esp if itz durin winter or spring... den i can either get to see snow or cherry blossoms... too bad Soka University isn't one of e unis hu liaise wif NUS otherwise it'll reli b gr8... e cost of livin there apparently is quite high but i tink it'll b a reli gr8 experience to live there for a couple of mths alone... it'll sorely test my independence tho... haf to handle everythin on my own... food... lodgings... laundry... studies... gosh... >.< n in case u duno yet... i'm a slob...

feel like snoozin now...

kudos to jixiang for helping me wif my blog... lolz... im reli hopeless wif html... thnx dude~!

ltc edmund n mr ng r both nt in office... so im like practically free now... which explains y im bloggin at dis kinda time...

itz a race to e finish to finish readin HR... i've reli bin feelin extremely reluctant to read it these days... haiz... inner darkness... but i reli wana make dis upcomin event a tremendous success!!! reli happy at e enthusiasm my fellow 'cols' haf bin showin...

n to those hu duno wad those funny lookin characters r after every post, it's how my name is written in japanese... haha...

bin feelin a bit emo these days... but nt as bad as wad i've bin feelin in e past la...

yawnz... e roti john jz nw wuz gr8... feel so slpy now... lolz...

so gona get a macbk for uni... ;)

i never imagined tt there wld b so much to do for our upcoming HR festival this coming May... omg... 8 wks to draft out e script, prepare the logistics, recruit actors/actresses etc etc etc... e mtg ytd i tink all of us got a bit agitated la lolz... esp when a grp of strong-headed, hard-headed n hot-headed teenagers gather together to discuss sth... lolz...

reli cant wait to get my driving licence... wuz a bit difficult gettin mr ng to agree to gif mi off for my driving... esp since itz sth private... chingay wuz sth different u c...

reading "I Believe You" made me feel emo all over again... lolz... tho honestly speaking when i look at some couples on e street sometimes i smile to myself or even laugh out loud... is it sour grapes? cuz sometimes 1 look i can tell tt particular couple ish cmi de... cfm... haha... since when haf i become an expert in dis area?

can't wait for my jap clz to start again... lolz... reli yearnin for it to start... mani things to achieve dis yr... HR Fest... Chptr GM... driving... JLPT 4... slim down? successful rship? haha... mayb kiv e last two la... hahaha...

bought this neck cushion cum speakers thingy ytd... i tink itz quite worth my money... itz like a normal neck cushion... den u connect ur mp3 or wadeva to it n it jz plays e music right nxt to ur ears at a suitable volume... loud enuff for u to hear it but soft enuff nt to disturb those ard u... great isn't it? nw can reli chilax (chill n relax) in e office le...

gonna gif it my all for this HR festival... GGRRRRRR~~~~~~~!!!!!!!

sometimes i can't help but think what do i actually post on this blog? have i always been ranting endlessly on and on and on about the things in my life? this blog has been with me since secondary school days. it's seen so much of me and been through so much with me. it probably knows me even better than i know myself.

what kind of a person have i been all my life? have i changed in any way? have i bothered to change? well, physically, i guess i haven't changed much. those who've known me for long should know that. lolz. what about emotionally, mentally and spiritually? have i grown as a person in all these ways?

why the sudden emo entry you may ask. was reading through shi qi's blog just now. realised that in a few months, -teen will turn to -ty. what will i have achieved by then? what do i want to achieve from then on? it's already been almost a year since i enlisted. have i been living my life to the fullest? sometimes we shun away from something and eventually come to realise that it was actually the best thing for you. by then, it'll have been too late to turn time round. so why not make the most of what you have now?

i look back on life and always yearn to go back to certain times in my past, having missed it so so so much. as a result, i miss out on certain great and precious times that i have at present. how many times have i made this mistake? i shudder to think.

life is short, and it's constantly getting shorter. think about what you can, should and will do with what's left of it.

life's been rather bland recently... tho i've had quite a few things on my plate... reason being my jap clz has jz ended... n i've gotta wait n wait till mid-may b4 my intermediate cse for jap will start... i reli m lookin fwd to tt... but dread e fact tt i always do quite badly for e test at e end... reli want tt to change... haiz... nv study n chant hard enuff... chingay oso came to a full stop some time ago... sianz... reli feel so empty nw on wkends... i reli wana go out n chiong all i can on wkends... oh well, no sense complaining...

things here in e office r stirrin up a little... my dear boss i tink is leavin soon... sobz... haf i used up my gd fortune? dis kinda boss where to find sia... i reli reli dun wan him to go... haiz... pray hard tt he doesnt leave...

reli hope tt i can gif dis batch of fresh graduates some sense of direction for those hu feel kinda lost tonite... tho i feel tt i've reli made a bit of a mess of e daimokukai tonite... zzz... paiseh la... first time co-ordinatin... >.< bt reli hope tonite's session helps dem to some extent at least...

well... today's e release of the 2007 'A' level examination results... cant bliv a yr has flown by jz lidat... lolz... seemed like jz ytd when i wuz clutchin tt miserable green slip in my hands n staring helplessly at tt miserable 'C' for my mathematics... nearly felt like cryin... reli din noe whether to feel happy or sad... mayb those feelins cancelled each other out... hahaha... tt's y i managed to stop myself frm cryin... wif a B3 for GP... i guess i shld haf bin satisfied, considerin how my AQ wuz as short as my summary... i wuz confident i sent in a good essay... so i spose my B3 muz haf bin caused by my summary n AQ... haha...

time reli has flown... my juniors r gettin their results n i can almost hear their cries of joy, laughter, disappointment and dismay... i hate to say it but in an examination such as ours, it all depends on where u lie on the bell curve... if u land further on e A side, well... gd for u... if u land somewhere teetering towards C or D... well... we cant do much abt tt either... itz a cold, hard truth... sth we all muz learn to accept... most of us, if nt all, put in loads n loads of effort for examinations... some of us c it pay off... others dun... inevitably, it is once again sth we muz learn to accept tt if we haf put in our best, in e end, some others r simply betta den us in terms of pen n paper... bt e gd news is, it ain't e end of e world... there r mani things out there in e world n e results slip is jz one of e gazillion things tt make up part n parcel of our life!

still contemplating on whether i shld apply for e USP... reli wana go for it... but i look at e essay i sian 1/2 le... tho i noe tt shldnt b e attitude i shld adopt... aiya c how la...

bin researchin for a lot of info on JLPT these days too... reli got my blood boiling afta i saw tt miserable 77/100 for my elementary 2 test... urgh... but i muz admit i kinda freaked out when i saw e amt of vocab, kanji n grammar i haf to learn to stand a chance at passing even level 4... Lorna's passed her JLPT 1... OMG!!! hahaha... sianz... my intermediate 1 course is gona start in may... omg... 2.5 mths wait... zzz... but at least dis will b e last wait, considerin how e intermediate courses continue back-to-back... hopefully i'll get a reli gd sensei dis time... somehow i feel tt a female tchr is usually more suitable at teaching language as compared to a male tchr... lolz... call mi sexist but hey, tt's my pt of view...

wonder how dey've fared... haha...

doubt any of u will read my blog but thanks for putting up tt wonderful performance on Saturday for our SD Anniversary!!! u guys beared thru my nagging, tekaning n shoutin n reli put up an amazing dance, even tho it wuz onli for a few minutes... reli reli appreciate it... hope u guys haf reli enjoyed urself n dun 4get wad wan xiang said, we mite perform it at another event some time soon so hope u all can come tgt again to perform another time!!!

dis wk is gona b another insane wk... gosh... saori changed our meetin time last min, which means i gotta reschedule my tuition wif justin... end up i cant go for e ctss alumni bbq le... sianz... haha... but no choice la... my jap test more impt... can always get e details frm someone else... nt tt impt aniwae im sure... tho it'd haf bin great if i cld haf gone back to see if any of my ex-students r there at tt kinda time, esp those in e uniformed grps cuz tt dae got speech dae rehearsal... wonder if i shld go back for speech day dis yr... no pt actualli la hor? i've drifted so far frm my ex-students liaoz... but hey, to those hu read my blog, it doesn't mean i dun rmb n dun miss u guys k... haha... but life goes on... regardless of whether we dwell on tt pt of time or choose to move along wif it... we all haf our own lives to lead n our own parts to play...

i'm reli gettin extremely sick of life in e army, even tho it reli is physically v slack... cant bliv i got more den a yr to go... urgh... jz tinkin abt it makes mi feel sick... i noe i shld b grateful tt i got such a gd postin n i've reli bin able to do a lot of things wif my time but there's no denyin tt i'd b doin a lot more things wifout army... sigh...

wonder if su xin is gona org kbox outin soon... cant wait la... whole bunch go kbox tgt... sing until e ppl come n chase us out... su xin jumpin on e seats... lolz... still rmb her hoggin e mike all aftanoon at sikang's 21st bdae party... hahaha... wifout her in asd life in asd seems tt much less lively... i mean it... hu else goes mad to tt extent in asd? lolz...

preparation for sd anniversary has reli bin loads of fun... rmb e last time we had a dance for sd anniversary... tt wuz like way back in 2005 or 06 i tink... we danced to stacie orrico's 'I could be the one'... still rmb most of e dance steps till dis day... in fact i put in one of e steps into my dance for dis yr's sd anniversary dance... tt time wuz choreographed by siyi n min ling... dis time wuz by mi n stacey... well, ok dis time i muz admit nt choreographed completely by mi n stacey, since i shamelessly plagiarised from jj's mass dance... but den again, i onli used wad i cld rmb, which wasnt a lot, considerin e last time i danced dis dance wuz in 2005, so i still ended up choreographin most of e dance steps myself... wif help frm stacey too of coz... =p so i spose it isnt complete plagiarism afta all... bleahx =p... asd is reli movin on... n growin up... but m i? sigh... lolz... stop feelin emo!

sometimes i stop n ask myself... wad is life all abt? we rush ard... doin wad we need... wad we have to... if we're lucky, we do wad we want to... but wad's e pt of all dis? wad is e ultimate meanin of life? r we reli truly born to die? yes i do tink abt these things every now and then... my email doesnt contain 'philosopher...' for nothing u noe... BHB!

such a long post... haha... hope u've enjoyed it... so long for nw...

oh ya, n i jz realised on sat boon han's learnin drivin from e exact same instructor as i m... haha... itz a small world...

is there anything wrong with being emo? sometimes, like wad suxin once said on her personal msg in chinese... feel like covering my ears and hiding in a corner... sometimes reli tink tt it'll feel reli great if i cld jz lie on my bed n cry... cry abt wad? i dun even noe wad's makin mi feel dis way... or do i? is it jz mi? but i wun deny... sometimes reli haf an incredible urge to jz hug my bolster n cry myself to slp... y m i feelin so emo? n e most cruel thing is... when i tink abt it... it reli seems to b my fault... sobz...

Chingay is finally over!!! And i muz say dis has reli bin one of e best Chingays i've ever performed in so far... considering dis is my third one... u cant begin to imagine how high we were on e preview day n actual day... omg... all tt audience interaction... reli loved it to bits...

made so mani frens too... >.< caught up wif PC and melvis and liang ye... loads of dem la... shuli n xue lian... den e new frens i made include jellynn, saori, kanae n mani others... n mani thanks to saori n kanae, without which i wld nt haf bin able to do my jap shukudai (homework) every week so smoothly... haha... reli helps to haf frens hu speak e native language...

now wed n sun r gona seem so empty... sigh... no more holding of e fishes in our hands... no more dancing to tt music... reli makes mi feel so empty inside...

apart from chingay, sd anniversary oso has bin takin up quite a bit of my life... i nv knew choreographin a dance cld b so difficult... n itz equally difficult, if nt more, to tie down my dancers n get dem to come for trainings... but ytd wuz e second last trg n i muz say im reli v satisfied wif e rate dey're progressing... THANKS LOADS GUYS!!! to all hu haf yet to b informed, sd anniversary is on this coming sunday 24 feb 10am-12pm at syc... muz come k?

ctss alumni bbq on 29th feb... gosh... duno how to feel for tt... shld i feel excited? or shld i feel apprehensive... sigh... i noe none of my ex-students will b there since itz so late at nite... n it feels kinda awkward to go back esp since i wuz a tchr back there... duno la... c how ba... i wun deny it... till dis day i still miss my ex-students like mad... well if u guys read dis... i miss u guys loads k!!!

sigh... my colleague wuz rite abt bein mentally tired in e army... no doubt servin as a clerk is nt as physically challengin... in fact it isnt challenging at all... but it reli makes u so mentally tired... hu can blame nsfs for lookin forward to ord so eagerly? every wk i do e same thing over n over n over n over n over n over n over n over n over again... urgh...

wonder if cupid has bin firing his arrows any old how again recently... hope i haven't got hit... or at least i dun tink i haf... bin lookin at all dis talk abt pefect couples on tv... especially artistes actin in their shows... gong zhu xiao mei... ka fei wang zi yi hao dian... zzz... these r ideal situations ppl... so y do we still bliv in dem n harp on dem all e time? i'm in e position to criticise simply bcuz i do tt too... e media reli has an exceedingly large control over certain ppl's minds ya? hu can maintain a completely objective mind? if u tink im makin excuses, reflect upon urself n c if wad i've said is true... dun we all get influenced to certain extents, big or small? so back to wad i wuz sayin... mayb cupid hasnt bin firing arrows... more of tickling me wif e tip ba... n makin mi feel emo again... mayb itz jz my dear old fren tryin to trap in e vortex of his dark cloak again...

do we fall in love? or do we fall for the idea of being in love?

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!! haha...

so much has been happening in my life recently... barely had time to breathe... lolz...

jap clz seems to b gettin better... esp since i have saori n kanae in my chingay grp to help mi wif my shukudai(homewk)... furthermore i've bin understanding e lessons much better... but i still have to kip referring to my txtbk tho... haha... hope i can do well for my test dis time round...

chingay oso has been gettin on pretty well... tho itz comin to an end soon... all of u muz watch k? 16 Feb 8pm muz turn on ur tv cuz i'm in the first item... Singapore Soka Association - Ocean of Harmony!!! WOOHOO!!! haha... advertise a bit here... but e onli shitty thing abt dis is e makeup... reli irritatin to haf it on my face for so long... lolz... but otherwise itz bin a reli gr8 experience for me...

sd anniversary is oso comin up soon... first time i'm co-ordinating e dance item... choreograph dance steps... teach dance steps... tie down hu is in my item... lolz... reli feel tt im makin such a mess of it... nt unexpected, esp since when im such a disorganised person...

mrs chua oso approached some of e alumni to help coach some of e clementeens... sigh... i doubt dey will gif mi my 4d1 la... dey die oso wun trust alumni wif sec 4 de... somemore sec 4 express... but i reli miss dem to bits... somemore i set so mani qns for justin... wasted if dey onli go to one student...

wish feeling emo wld bcom a thing of e past... sometimes reli find it so irritatin... like wad johnson put on his msn nick... do we fall in love or fall for the idea of being in love? ever tot abt tt?

sora and kairi... roxas and namine... 2 parallels along the same line...

suddenly feel like lettin e linguistic demon inside of mi loose today... so those hu haf nv seen dis side of mi dun get scared off... haven done dis for a long time... hope i can still do it well...

she pouted at her twin in the glass, while grasping the stump of colour in her fingers. plum. how glorious. she lifted the stump to her lips and smeared it generously over that succulent flesh. the flesh met and moved over each other, smoothing out that rich shade of royalty over them. the stump was discarded, as the long, seductive digits tightened around the pencil. one. two. three. four. she batted them and sulked. once more. one. two. three. four. there, perfection. as the pencil was neglected, her grasp met the jaws on a handle as they were brought near the windows to her soul. one. two. flutter. one. two. flutter. the windows lit up before she reached for the fine puce lying in its case. the fine bristles caressed her cheek, as they slowly turned the colour of its contents. she loosened her hold and the corners of her mouth turned upwards. flutter. pout. she turned, making her dark tresses tumble about her shoulders. she exuded. as she sashayed out of the room, her dress undulating around her as she moved.

been wanting to blog for some time le... loads to say... but haven had e mood lei... let's c... whr shall i start...

start wif sd kenshu ba... gosh i reli nid to haf dis kinda spiritual nourishment more often... didnt realise how spiritualli dry i wuz but after e kenshu it wuz like... woohoo... den talked so much to tuan kiak abt zhong ji yi jia... lolz!!! v glad tt juay kai wuz willin to come, even tho it wuz onli for a short while cuz wad leonard shared reli reli touched mi... i oso felt v touched when jin haw shared abt her experience... i usually look 4ward v much to jin haw n wan xiang's sharings... but usualli i connect betta wif wan xiang since itz btw fellow ymds but dis time reli cld feel for jin haw... reli reli v touched n inspired by dem... as always haha...

den went to esplanade to watch fireworks wif 2b1'02 on new yr's eve... first time i feel so physically intimate wif my fellow singaporeans... due to horrible traffic we actualli walked frm esplanade to outram... omg... took bus to bb den cabbed frm there... found out chun yiu is reli anti-mrt... lolz... stayed over at his hse tt nite played mahjong n poker cards... we played a game wif e cards tt leroy suggested... penalty wuz to drink water... reli gave all our bladders a gd workout, to say e least... but reli had loads n loads of fun...

den chingay trgs haf oso bin totalli awesome... omg... seein all e dance steps n formations jz gets mi so high hahaha...

but e thing im most hyped up abt is tt tml will b e start of my nxt jap clz!!! omg cant wait la... so excited... afta such a long hiatus... cant wait to learn jap again... gona make sure i learn my jap properly by myself... den i can choose to take french or some other language as my elective in uni... yuan xin wuz so pissed off cuz she cldnt get e french module she wanted... hope tt doesnt happen to mi cuz i reli wana learn french too... lolz...

as for things in camp... recently bin talkin a lot to my branch ic abt relationships... talked abt hers, mine n others... our opinions n wad not la... v v glad tt i can get along so well wif my branch ic... she reli is a v nice person... n v helpful too... doesnt arrow ppl... yeah... haha... n to all facing relationship probs... dun fret... for u r nv alone in dis world... =)

wanted to let e linguistic demon out todae... reli wana gif my vocabulary a gd workout wif my sadistic writings... but dun haf e energy left... reli v tired le... yawnz... nitez ppl...