yawnz... feelin damn tired now... bloggin frm e i-net in my office now... jz finished wkend CDO... so tired... barely slept last night... e driver slpin in e same rm snores likes thunder!!! zzz... kept mi awake nearly e entire nite...

went out wif andrew last sat... went vila'ge... i reli haf gotta stop goin there... no matter how mani fond memories i may haf there... itz gona knock a gaping hole in my budget... n it doesnt help when i haf dis mad urge to meet up wif frens durin e wkends... den afta tt went to catch rush hour 3... practically no plot... tho of coz e humour wuz there la... laughed like mad at some parts... tt chris tucker is such an ass in his role... gosh... lolz... so itz reli gd if u wana get a laugh n unwind... but if u're lookin for sth deeper n wif a plot... dis ain't e rite movie to catch... secret wuz by far den rush hour 3 in terms of storyline... wonder if i'll get to watch secret again... seriously wldnt mind watchin it another time... tho chris encouraged mi to watch hairspray... haha... mayb i'll catch it wif vanessa dis sat...

my brain is officially jaded... itz bin gdness noes how mani mths sice i last studied anithin... n my brain now feels like a wrung sponge every time i try to push myself to learn sth... hope nth bad happens durin my jap clz...

so mani nice movies showin or r abt to show... secret... hairspray... brave story (looks nice anyway)... premonition... stardust... reli feel like catchin dem all (=.= sounds like pokemon) but i noe tt's reli gona burn a big hole in my pocket...

amazingly, i've still bin playin scrabble nowadays... tho my ratin is still =.='''

i reli nid to slp...

finally watched secret... watched on sunday actually... haha... e storyline reli rocks big time... kudos to u for watchin it wif mi... even tho u watched it alr... haha ;)...

Follow the notes upon a journey
At first sight marks one's destiny
Once the voyage comes to an end
Return lies within hasty keys

tot e movie reli wuz gr8 la... nt too cliched... tho e endin a bit screwed... but if dey cld haf tidied up tt last part den it wld reli haf bin nice... but on e whole e storyline reli is quite fresh... tho as jiun jia said... e first part a bit like korean drama... but e rest of it wuz quite new... din regret goin to watch... lolz... i'm reli ravin non-stop abt it...

meetin van n andrew dis sat... well at least i've got sth to look forward to... other den my sunday bein burnt by CDO n NOT GETTING OFF!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!! haiz... wad to do... gona suggest watchin 'licensed to wed'... always find robin williams hilarious... hope dey'll b ok wif dis arrangement... haven seen andrew for ages... tho still kip in contact v often... i honestly tink out of all e sections in my batch, mi n andrew r e onli section mates tt remain so close... haha... tml last paper... gif it ur best shot dude!

bin wantin to pen dis down for ages... ever watch drama serials??? how e female protagonist pairs off wif e secondary character at first... den sth happens in e middle... eventually she ends up wif e leadin character n e rest of e story is abt these 2... wad happens to e secondary character? he jz dissolves into the void? sad how these things happen huh... oh this couple tt wuz most suited for each other haf finally paired off n r gona live happily ever after... wad happens to e guy tt got kicked aside? e one hu still has deep feelins for e female protagonist? lolz... does ani1 ever bother to tink abt stuff lidat?

time reli passes so much faster when one has something to look forward to... like dis sun im gona watch secret wif vanessa... den gona meet my staff rm gang afta tt... chris daph reks ruth n chun kiat... lolz... miss dem so so so much...

den my jap classes are oso finally gonna start soon, after looooooong last... haha... sept 8th is my first lesson... can't wait... den gona go for basic drivin theory soon too... er... goin to bk... so i duno when my actual test will b... LOLZ... instructor oso found le (i going for private de)... samuel intro mi his one... he says v gd... he oso went thru dis private instructor n got his licence in 6 mths... all in one shot... sounds gd huh? haha... reli hope i'll get my licence soon, tho i dun reli haf a need for it now la...

tho of course, there r other things in life tt make u dread itz comin... like wkend CDO... burnin my sunday WITHOUT OFF!!! dammit...

oh well... signin off now... tml still got live run... duno if i'll b ok by den to play bball... sux to haf cough n asthma... cough for so long liaoz... zzz...

is it my fault that i've been feelin the way i do these past weeks? things have been happening, wave after wave after wave... up one second... down the next... sometimes i really think i have no right to be the elder brother in the family... my little bro seems to have so much more strength and courage than me... feel so ashamed of myself... resort to doing stuff to run away from all this sometimes... even temporary solace comes as a relief...

yet underneath all this i still manage to feel my own personal feelings... if you get what i mean... and somehow knowing the fact that there are other people out there who actually feel the same way helps a lot... =)

but i know what to do... why moan and whine about what i'm going through? is it going to make any of it change? why not face all of it with a smile instead? there's no need to make myself feel so miserable... it won't change anything if i feel sad or anything... might as well face these challenges with a smile on my face... it'd make it that much easier to face...

to those who have expressed concern for me... i reli reli appreciate it frm e bottom of my heart... thnx guys...

i just feel so asphyxiated... suicidal thoughts turning rational? hope not...

haven't been in the mood to blog recently... so many things have been happening... and suddenly life seems too overwhelming...

in camp... no doubt i hold a clerical post... but it doesn't mean it's totally slack either... not when u have fuked up supervisors... my head of department is a very nice guy... but my supervisor is just so fuked up la... i know he's not the worst in my office... but sometimes... urgh... the injustice... i boil up very easily on the inside... but i bite back the long list of retorts i loooooooong to utter... i still have to respect my supervisor... it's just a pity that i only respect the rank... bah...

in gakkai... i'm slacking a bit... though i have started picking up the momentum again... no longer feel as close to ASD as before... maybe it's cuz i'm no longer in a jc... so to you people out there... treasure the moments you have in school... be it secondary school, jc or poly... cuz those are really some of the best times ever in your life...

at home... things aren't that sunny either... it really is difficult when something happens in the family and the eldest in the family is supposed to be able to take up responsibility... just goes to show the pathetic amount of strength i have...

as for my own personal matters... like wad ms p said n wad i taught my class... Maslow's hierarchy of needs... i still lack emotional satisfaction in that particular area... which my emo side constantly yearns for... haha... to those who understand... good for you... if you don't... doesn't really matter either...

i struggle to raise my life condition, which really seems to be at an all-time low... first time i'm facing problems of such a large quantity and variety in a short space of time... really feel like breaking down sometimes... i know i will feel better if i'm able to cry... it'll at least help to ease the pain i feel a little... and having to pretend that everything's all right in front of my younger brother isn't always an easy thing to do... but i have no choice... i have to be a pillar of support for him...

if you have managed to finish reading this post and are rolling your eyes and scoffing then save it... divert away from this page... i don't need anymore of that...