i'm sian cuz i ate a banana. dun laugh. i'm supposed to go for a medical appointment 2 days from now and bananas are one of the things i'm supposed to avoid. =.= i.e. my test results are gonna be inaccurate. sucks to have high blood pressure.

He trudges down the street, step after step after step. "Why do you still even exist? Can't you see everyone hates you? Can't you see that you should just die? Can't you see you'll never be loved?" the loneliness in him seemed to scream. "I'm your only friend now, you pathetic creature!"

He stops and allows himself to crash onto the merciless concrete. In the distance, a black figure could be seen moving so lightly, as though floating, towards him. A black, hooded figure. The liquid diamonds in his orbs swirl and twinkle, as though mocking him, in all his wasted misery. The diamonds well and surge and scar his face, as they form a stream down his cheek, before hitting the concrete. The trickle of maroon joins, turning puce as it touches the colourless liquid and spreading out in a collage across his face. A ghost of a smile steals across his lips.

The black figure approaches, inching ever closer towards him, with its black hood. He looks up and relief sweeps over him, welcoming and inducing the figure towards him. The figure, at long last, looms before him, dripping evil. The figure extends a clawed hand to him and seizes his soul. He expresses no reluctance, almost as if willing the black figure to take him. As his soul parts his body, his orbs die, his body goes limp. He is free.

The black figure clings on to his soul, almost lovingly. In a flash of dark fire and a hint of a skullish grin, the Grimreaper vanishes, with its new prey.

feel pretty much shitty these few days. is it my own fault? is it the fault of those around me? or am i just plain emo?

writing dark stuff really boosts my mood. ok, no need for the wide-eyed stare or disbelieving snort. it's like ripping that stuff from within after letting it accumulate from what i've been feeling these past few days. total darkness.

how can i be free when i'm completely trapped in my own head?

reading su wei's blog made me feel compelled to pen another entry on our pps mid-autumn gathering... my mind's still so full of all the jabber and cam-whoring we did tt day...

if you go check out either su wei's or my facebook photo albums, you'll be able to get a sneak peek of what happened that night... i tink the things that hit me the most really were the old photos and autograph books... i dun care if i'm repeating from a previous entry or what but those things reli made me wish that i could go back to the past again... as wad peiru said, if i could live until 70 years old, i would only want to live till 60 years old, and relive the first 10 yrs of my schooling ilfe... the times when i had THE MOST FUN~! i'd alr forgotten my first self-initiated outing was in pri sch, when i went with kai wen, janet, su wei, jasmine, louis and quite a few others whom i cant reli rmb cuz they were from other classes... one thing i do rmb is that we made janet cry at the end... =p but in e end we still apologised, so dun angry le k janet? =p lookin at those photos really just made my heart melt. that was i think the first and last time i saw kai wen tuck in his shirt in a public place. hey guys, if any of you read this, shall we go organise a trip back to that place when we're all free one day? the autograph books oso made me laugh like crazy. got wad gold frens silver frens bronze frens... goes to show hw childish we were in those times... but honestly, wad wldnt i gif to go back to those times again...

pps bbq in dec? su wei said we'll all bring our autographs books there and expose everyone who wrote in them. hahaha~!

i dun reli care how i sound like when i pen this entry bcuz i doubt many ppl haf this chance to say hw much fun they can still haf wif frens they meet so rarely and can co-exist with so comfortably for that number of hrs... no kidding... meet at 8.30pm n talk cock n cam-whore till 2+am in the morning at e 24 hr mac...

looking forward to pps bbq dis yr... and mid-autumn nxt yr...

This week has been like the best week of my life so far this year!!! Ok, so i was wrong about not having anything else apart from pps gathering to look forward to. CTSS mid-autumn gathering was also great fun, esp when i spent almost the whole thing with my 4D1 '08.

Driving to ctss was nothing short of hell, considering the peak hour traffic and the fact that the car's fuel gauge was teetering towards 'E'. -.- but nevertheless, reached there safely at about 8pm. found my 4D1 in no time and started snapping pics of them. alr put some of them on my facebook, so check them out if you want to... they went on this march outside the perimeter of the school, holding lanterns, so it seemed like protesting against the cancellation of mid-autumn festival... we walked all the way to the track next to the school. for some reason, they decided to sit down in a circle and sing i've got peace by the river... no thanks to shinfen.... haha... after they decided to head back to school, shinfen and gang were surrounding me and ensuring that i had that song firmly ingrained in my mind by singing it over and over and over and over and over and over and over AGAIN~! haha... ran over to zhenning, kai siang and nic wee for cover. this 3 oso got this weird habit of saying hi to strangers in an exuberant way... but i guess that's 4D1 all over ba... the craziness that bonds them... found out that yilin is dating aven... hopefully neither of them reads this... =p went over to speak to mr chiang for a short while for a few words of wisdom, as always... felt a little discouraged by what he told me about teaching... sigh... we'll take things one step at a time ba... after everything ended, we trudged over to the mac opposite to chill for a short while... nothin particularly excitin happened there la... just found out that julian has quite an appetite... hahaha... and he's still so skinny~!

oso had like the best time yesterday. went out with my pps frens at long last, after waiting for sooooooooo long... a bit of cock up at first la... cuz we still couldn't decide on like what time to meet at e park... but eventually we all met up and started talkin... guys, as usual, since we dun haf much of a civilian life, talked non-stop abt army life and how f-ed up it is... hahaha... some of us saluting eng hong when we saw him... ;) quite surprised to c him there acty... cuz reli haven heard frm him for e longest time... eng hong left early to meet his jc frens for a bdae celebration... den we trudged over to pioneer mall's mac, where we sat until 2am in e morning... no worries abt last bus or train, simply cuz we all live within walkin distance of each other... it's a small neighbourhood... =) su wei and jasmine brought along some pri sch fotos and autograph books that we all laughed at... hw we looked like in e past and wad we wrote in those autograph books... seriously reli brings back loads and loads and loads of v v fond memories... u guys reli r the best thing that ever happened to me... reli hope we can gather again in dec!!!

really very excited about our pps mid-autumn festival meet up. in case you're wondering, pps stands for pioneer primary school. my batch was the first batch that went through a full 6 years in that school. ^_^

just like janet said, really hope ppl like hsien ee and kai wen, who have just enlisted, can come on that day with no worries. shouldn't be a prob la, i guess. hsien ee should be on block leave but maybe kai wen might face a bit of prob, being a commando. haha.

oso really looking forward to seeing more pps ppl coming this year. last year actually got quite a few le but i think this time round better have more people lolz... i'm really like so hyped up about this!!!

i thought i'd have a lot of things to look forward to this september but guess i'm sorely mistaken. besides this meet up wif my pri sch mates can't seem to find any other bright spot this september. grrrr...