in a family... when e parents quarrel or r nt hapi wif each other... hu suffers most? DUH~ e children... oh well... muz learn to accept it... it'll blow over soon... i hope...

fell sick liaoz... went to see dr ling today... imagine... temp 39.1 degrees... sheesh... den he checked my blood pressure too... nearly fainted... 145/80... reli reli reli nid to start losin weight le... no more unhealthy food for u dude... nt if u still want ur life... gort a 3-day mc... probably nt gona use it all... shld b goin to sch on fri... cant miss those 2 practical lessons... veri veri impt... tho now altho im still capable of bloggin... still feel lyk shit... the nites r becomin veri terrible to endure... haiz...

wish gakkai activities for asd wld resume soon... feelin reli bland and spiritually dry wifout dem... mcvin smsed mi couple of wks back abt asd skit for e sd anniversary... reli hope we'll start preparin for tt soon...

it'd b tt much easier wif u by my side...

got my enlistment letter a couple of days back... startin to feel e horror n fear of it sinkin it liaoz... is my army life gona b a horrible one? reli feel tt itz gonna b a hard one... at least it will b if i continue to b of dis size... haha... i guess im reli gona spend 6 mths in tekong liaoz... how it i become lyk dis? thru plain n sheer laziness... hahaha... glanced thru e stories tt some ns men haf contributed on e webby... guess itz jz gona b hell for mi la... im reli gona nid it aniwae... given e shape im in now... sure i talk abt it lightly rite now... wait till i reli go in... tt's when e horror truly sinks in... but hey... tink of it dis way... dey're payin mi to slim down... wad betta deal cld i ask for?

veri worried tt i wun b able to take chem s... e selection test is lyk so difficult and im lyk flippin thru my 5 reference bks to no avail... y m i piling myself up wif all these unnecessary worries? haha... wish i cld jz let go of it once n for all n jz b reli n truly relaxed... wif nth to worry abt at all...

goin mr chiang's hse on 5th... haha... shld i wear e 'me' t-shirt again? worn e same t-shirt to mr chiang's hse for e past 2 yrs durin cny... oh well, i won big wif tt shirt last yr... wonder if i'll b able to do it dis yr... mayb i wun gamble dis yr... yeah like real... haha...

some kind soul out there pls discipline mi and get mi to work out... im gona die soon if i dun work out and reli slim down...

yep... u...

today celebrated CNY at jj... band din play tt well... tho e audience cldnt reli tell... dey were swingin away at e ymca part... haha... e whole bunch... both j1 and j2... of ex-ctss peeps frm jj went back... woots... saw all my old tchrs... reli rox!!! ^_^ bin gr8 seein dem again... chatted a lot... reli had a lot of fun... saw sky there too... gort dis farnie look on his face... oh well... shant comment much... haha... =p

afta tt went sumoya to stuff our faces... clarence wuz a bastard as usual... but actually i tink sth made him behave lidat all these yrs... tinkin back on wad mel cheang said... i tink she's right... based on clarence's handwriting... he's nt naturally lidat... sth muz haf stimulated him to behave dis way... i cld tell he looked super uncomfy when i said his feet didnt point straight when walkin and tt he still cldnt speak fluently except when spewin vulgarities... did i touch a nerve? was he teased often abt dis when young? tt's y he developed dis kinda personality? mayb... y do i care? hahaha...

e others went to bt gombak to plae badminton afta tt... din bother to go... nt in e mood aniwae... went to jp and paid my hp bill... waited for such a f-ing long time... den went mac and sat down wif myself and sipped my ice lemon tea... moment of peace...

came back... rotted a while... tried out my s paper selection test... nearly cried doin it.... itz reli veri veri difficult... strugglin like mad even wif physical chem... e test upon 150... i tink myuz get at least 120 to qualify for the nxt round of selection test... haiz... reli gona crumble under dis pressure soon liaoz...

CNY finally comin... reli look forward to dis long weekend b4 e horror of jc comes descendin upon my shoulders once more...

why? why does it have to be so unfair?

veri angry today... i mean... r e ppl takin phy in my batch blind n deaf? mr kwok's apparently seethin wif anger in front, tho he always uses those calm tones of his... yet these ppl jz either cannot or do not wana kip their blardy mouths shut... even e ppl in my clz... esp nazi and eunice... behind their mouths movin non-stop... farkin irritatin la... jz stfu for once can? in e end? mr kwok gifs a monotonous lecture, n i daresay 95% of e ppl inside e lt learnt nth... hu suffers in e end? we suffer la... but these ppl jz dun seem to get it... it'd betta nt happen tml... i still wan my gd phy grade k... and waves is startin to get more n more confusin to understand... gosh im startin to sound lyk a tchr...

on the brighter side, today's band was fun!!! din noe i cld still manage my piccolo so well... played shrek... electric lady (surprisingly easy)... the seven nights of july (finally sth tt poses a challenge)... and ROSS ROY!!! missed dis piece loads... tho lester doesnt noe how to conduct it... hahaha... tun kuang can play the flute veri well sia... can pitch 2 octaves lei... nt bad nt bad... tink he reli super sick of percussion le... imagine... playin e same few instruments since pri 3... LOLZ...

bin coughin away like mad for e past few days liaoz... reli dun wana go see doc... waste of money... self-medicate ba...

haven done anithin on phy of fluids tutorial... due tml... hell mr low's gona murder mi... well at least i did his phy spa practice... reli wana do well in my future phy spas... esp since i screwed up my previous phy spa... zzz... i wana get my 4 'A's... i nid tt scholarship...

asd orientation wuz fun!!! haha... e ppl playin my game gort like reli irritated... go wrong square e irritatin sound comes out and u gotta start all over again... but we still had a lot of fun!!! ^_^... i removed e maskin tape for debrah and minling's game by mistake... paiseh ar... =p... but still put it back on aftawards...

im reli laggin behind in work... i kip saein i wana work hard i wana work hard i wana work hard... but im workin anithin but hard... im workin SMART!!! haha... BHB~! no la... im reli nt workin at all... hard or otherwise... my inertia reli super high...

today's pc seemed to pass reli reli quickly... e route outside e sch i seemed to cover it more easily lei... mayb cuz i more used to the distance le ba... at any rate... i gona push myself for all pcs frm now on... can't continue like dis... n i aint gona let tt bastard yi yi kip sneerin at mi... he's gonna get it frm mi one day if he pushes mi over the edge...

wish my mood swings weren't so violent... well, mayb drastic wld b a betta word to use... cant take much more of my mood swings animore... reli terrible to experience sia...

suddenly gort e urge to dance my heart out at the para para machine... can alr see my hands flyin abt... haha... when im free ba...

sposed to b goin off to bed now... but as usual... yeah... haha... mummy's nt too pleased wif mi...

also sposed to get my first selection test paper for chemistry today... but dear ms goh forgot she permitted mi to try... so she din print... den aftanoon i forgot to get it... so gotta wait till tml... zZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz...

I BELIEVE I CAN HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH THIS YEAR!!! I WILL SHOW ACTUAL PROOF THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE WHAT I WANT AND MORE THROUGH MY FAITH!!!

self-pity gets u nowhere... rmb tt...

bin whinin to myself lyk nobody's business... wish i'd stop... gettin reli irritatin... i haf enuff troubles on my hand wifout mi re-emphasising dem over n over n over again... reli in no position to bitch at all... u chose dis path urself dude... furthermore, mani more other ppl r in more dire straits den u r... so pull yrself tgt...

fever... sore throat... all these things haf to happen every time i resolve to lose weight... n by e time i've recovered... all tt motivation n determination evaporates... i tot watchin e biggest loser wld gif mi e motivation n determination i nid... jz din last enuff...

talkin to sky now... hope it'll help...

didnt want to wallow in self-pity... guess wad i've bin doin for dis entire entry? haha... bah... ure pathetic u noe tt?