Ok, so the start of exams is a mere 4 days away and as usual, as it has been for the past 4 semesters, I'm feeling super unprepared. I tried practising spectro questions last night and I nearly broke down in frustration. Can't imagine what kind of hell I'm going to go through when I see Prof. Lai's questions in front of me. =\

And to top it all off, I've been experiencing chest pains. This time, it's not going away, for some reason. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that it's purely due to the stress that I've been facing and not any other factors. I can totally see myself keeling over and collapsing during CM3221's final exam after seeing the questions.

This must be due to my determination to do well for this semester. And maybe I've been too caught up in getting the grades. Bee Ling told me before, "Don't worry about the grades. Enjoy what you're studying and the grades will naturally come." She was speaking from her own experience and I want to be able to experience that too. I'm not kidding when I say I love CM3221's content. I really do. It's one of the rare few times that I feel that I'm actually doing chemistry. I just wish that I didn't have to struggle this hard just to keep my head above water.

It's also sad that I won't be attending Chingay trainings this week. I really need to devote my time to my studies. Hey, don't look at me like that. It's painful for me too ok, especially since this week we're supposedly having more time for revision of steps and I won't be able to be there to guide my participants through it. Totally love my group to bits la seriously. C8 FTW!!!!! =D

All right, enough bitching. Back to mugging for forensic science. Fingers crossed.

I seem to like posting at night a lot. So many things have been happening recently, including another large argument with my beloved chemistry department, as well as the shitload of work that's been weighing me down, none of which I will deface my blog with apart from this short paragraph. It's high time I let go of my anger and focused more on my work.

I shall just talk about the nice things in life that have been happening to me. I've been chatting more often with some friends recently and realise that I'm sub-consciously becoming closer to them. Well, actually just one in particular. Doubt you know who you are. You probably won't even read this anyway. Haha. But it really does boost my mood that despite knowing each other only in year 1 for a short while and only getting to talk more often in year 3, we've been able to talk about quite a lot of things.

It's also nice knowing that when you (a different person from the previous paragraph) needed someone, you thought of me. And I really appreciate that. Will give my best. No worries =)

Chingay training starts tomorrow (well, technically it's today. Already past 12am.) but I won't be able to attend my very first training thanks to the three tests I have this week. Haha. But I'm really looking forward to meeting my members! Can't wait!!!! =D

This Sunday is Da Capo 2011!!!! My piccolo playing still like shit la. Totally never practise much this semester. I really should pass the piccolo back to Craig when he comes back next semester. But to all who are interested, Da Capo is this Sunday 5pm at NUS UCC!!!!!! $15/tix... drop me a line if you're interested in coming k?

Ok I'm tired. Shall turn in now. Yawwwwwnnnnnnnzzzzzz.......

Looking forward to your morning call waking me up tomorrow morning. =)

It must be a record. Me blogging on two consecutive days. Haha. Ok let's see what we have today.

Well, of course, first things first. It's my birthday today! Thanks to all who remembered (including those who had a bit of help from a certain networking website... XD)... but really... thanks for all the well wishes!!! much appreciated!

come to think of it, wow. I'm already 23 years old... Omg... Getting old... No wait... I'm not. Age is just a number!!!!!! I will remain young at heart!!!! RAWR!!! XD

This year I really wanna have a day off on my birthday... But there's sectionals tonight... Should I go? Lolz... I really think this year I'm meant to have a day off on my birthday. My birthday falls on my free day and also during my e-learning week! I'm meant to go out and enjoy!!!!!! Hahahaha...

And thanks for the wallet from you guys!!!! You all know who you all are la har... I'm sure you'll read this some time or other... Really love the wallet!!!! =D

As for a present for myself... well... I did get myself the "The Nightmare Before Christmas" iPhone cover from eBay... Been searching for one like that for aaaaaggggggeeeeeesssss... So happy when I finally found it online... Does that count as a birthday present for myself? Or should I indulge myself further? >.< Hahaha...

Ok, shall end here today. Off to enjoy my special day. ^_^

Birthday gift from Gohonzon: Seeing you today. Best gift so far. =)

I seem to like blogging at morbid timings. Don't even know what I'm gonna blog about today. Well, let's see what'll flow out k? Haha.

I have finally set my target for this semester, where my results are concerned. But having said that, there's another deeper achievement that I wanna achieve this sem and that is to 'remain competitive without losing my humanity'. This is really very important. I refuse to let myself get caught up in this rat race and lose my humanity in the process. It simply isn't worth it. I already feel that it's starting to happen and I need to nip it in the bud. Now.

So many things to juggle this semester. Band, chingay, Gakkai, studies. Similarly, I refuse to compromise on any one of them. But at the same time, I need to make sure I don't spread myself out too thin and make sure I prioritise properly. I can and I will win! Win over myself, that is. As Sensei mentioned in the clip I watched at the daimokukai just now, "A man who loses to himself is a coward." I really agree. One needs courage to face up to his own weaknesses and flaws and overcome them.

A few more hours before it comes. Quite gratifying that it should land on my free day this year. Too bad I'll probably be using it to catch up on my webcasts for e-learning week. Hahaha.

I've been trying. But it's still there. Though you being so elusive really is helping a lot. No sarcasm intended. It really is the case.

Suddenly felt like blogging, even though it's 3.06am in the morning. Well, at least it's not 2.48am. HAHA! Okok, private joke. (doubt you'll read this anyway)

Anyway, suddenly saw my ex-student's blog update through facebook and went to check it out. She seems really devastated. At least she's still managing to move on in life. Hope she manages to pull through this quickly. Just sent her a message to encourage her. Wonder if she still remembers who I am, considering I taught her only for a month four years ago. Hahaha.

I've also officially rejected my offer for SEP to Hong Kong. Just to clarify, me being a Chingay trainer was NOT the deciding factor behind my rejection. It's just that when I applied for SEP, I applied for SEP to Japan. The Japan factor was really the main factor for me. Sure, both Hong Kong unis had good modules for me to map. But I really just didn't feel for it la. Yes, how many people can say that they were given 2 chances to go for SEP? Some more rejected both offers. But to me, I believe this is the right choice for me to make and I'm sure that I will not regret it. =)

This sem is turning out to be what could possibly be my most challenging semester yet. But I say that every sem. Goes to show life is getting harder and harder. It's only week 4 now and I've got my first mid-term next week. At least it's my favourite organic chem ^_^ Prof. Tan really has become my idol le. Really love his teaching so much. Clear and interesting. What more can you ask for? Really so sad that he's only teaching half the module. How I wish I could drop IA like Billy. Haiz. But having said that, I'm really thankful that I didn't take solid state. Really really thankful. Haha.

Free day tomorrow!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! =D

Is that a glimmer of hope I see?