Some stories and endings are cliche but sometimes we don't pause to think about why they are cliche and why they have come to be cliche to us. Isn't it because it's something that we all wish for? When a story doesn't have a happy ending, we feel something's not right, because we always expect everything to turn out the way we expect it to. But when it does, one of the first few things that people say about it is, "It's cliche." We're hard to please.

Had a great time with my dearest C8 participants today, as I always have! =D Although today was unfortunately an indoor training and the attendance was quite poor, we still managed to have a pretty good training! Although I feel I intimidated a few of the YWDs who got posted to my group today during split training. Hope they don't feel traumatized. Hahaha!

I must be crazy to say this but I'm actually excited about next semester, provided I get the modules I want. In addition to my core modules, I wanna read Japanese 5 and Gender Studies! If I really can get that, it means I'll be 60% Arts student and 40% Science student next semester, even though I'm a Chemistry major. Haha. By the looks of what's on IVLE, I think I can safely say Hamasaki Sensei is definitely teaching Japanese 5 next semester like he mentioned during TA class. WOOHOO!!!!! =D And the best thing is, I HAVE NO LAB NEXT SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =DDDD No USELESS lab reports to weigh me down next semester. Totally shuang! XD


Missing you is, thankfully, becoming easier and easier. I no longer think endlessly about you. However, it doesn't mean I don't think about you. I still do, just like during Chingay today. Hope we can have a proper conversation soon, rather than those disjointed sms convos that we used to have.


Sometimes, I really wish I could stop living in the past. I really need to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to relive those times that we had so many months back. Those were really beautiful memories, memories that I really, really treasure. And that's my problem, I indulge in them so much that till now, I still have yet to let go, though I should have, a long time ago.


After gaining the wisdom to see things a short while after SYM ended, I never prayed to be with you, though, in all honesty, that was truly what I wanted. I know that if we were meant to be together, we would have. But I knew, all I wanted was for you to be truly and absolutely happy. And if I'm not the one to be able to help you achieve it, I will accept it. But accepting it and letting go, for me at least, are really two different matters.


I've always wanted nothing but absolute happiness for you. And that's what I've always prayed for you. For you, at this moment, to truly be happy with yourself. You disliking certain things yourself, that are, as declared by SO many people around you, perfectly fine, really breaks my heart. Because you can't seem to see yourself for the beautiful person that you are, inside and out.


They say time heals all. I'm sure I'll eventually be able to let go. What am I holding on for anyway? I also don't know. Haha. But I do know, time will heal. It's just a matter of how much is needed.


And since I seem to be on an emo spree today, I'll let loose everything. I've always wanted to tell you how I truly feel inside, face to face. That episode by Kelvin didn't count. In fact, it really messed me up inside very very badly. You told me that he meant well and that a friend like him is hard to come by. I agree. Totally agree. But it doesn't change how I felt about it after that. And it hurt. Bad.


Sometimes seeing Bi Neng and Audrey together in my group makes me really jealous and Bi Neng coming up to me and asking me if I could pair him up with Audrey or not just now made me smile. They really look very happy and blissful together. I wish I could be in a relationship like that. Wishful thinking TTM! XD


I still miss you.

I care about what you say because you're my friend... and a good one at that.

I don't like arguing, nor do I like quarreling, though I can have a sharp tongue when I want to.

Training today drained quite a bit from me. First time I shout until this kind of extent. Once again, I don't shout because I'm scolding. I shout simply for clarity.

Can't wait for exams to be over. But still have two more. T_T

I really feel so tired, both mentally and physically. But I know this is good training for me. I just really hope all this training will eventually pay off.

Feeling emo again all of a sudden. Must be insufficient serotonin in my body. Chocolate time. XD

I've been watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch on youtube A LOT recently and I'm really happy with the way the final season ended. It actually made me tear. Haha. Though I was REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF with the fact that Aunt Zelda and Aunt Hilda weren't present in the final season. Those two were my favourite characters!!!!!!

Long time never write such a disjointed entry le. Signing off.

Suddenly miss you again. Even dreamt about you a couple of days back. Poked your head for fun today during training. Hope you didn't feel -.^ haha. So much I wanna tell you. So much I wanna share with you. Wonder when I'll have the chance. =(

Ok, so the start of exams is a mere 4 days away and as usual, as it has been for the past 4 semesters, I'm feeling super unprepared. I tried practising spectro questions last night and I nearly broke down in frustration. Can't imagine what kind of hell I'm going to go through when I see Prof. Lai's questions in front of me. =\

And to top it all off, I've been experiencing chest pains. This time, it's not going away, for some reason. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that it's purely due to the stress that I've been facing and not any other factors. I can totally see myself keeling over and collapsing during CM3221's final exam after seeing the questions.

This must be due to my determination to do well for this semester. And maybe I've been too caught up in getting the grades. Bee Ling told me before, "Don't worry about the grades. Enjoy what you're studying and the grades will naturally come." She was speaking from her own experience and I want to be able to experience that too. I'm not kidding when I say I love CM3221's content. I really do. It's one of the rare few times that I feel that I'm actually doing chemistry. I just wish that I didn't have to struggle this hard just to keep my head above water.

It's also sad that I won't be attending Chingay trainings this week. I really need to devote my time to my studies. Hey, don't look at me like that. It's painful for me too ok, especially since this week we're supposedly having more time for revision of steps and I won't be able to be there to guide my participants through it. Totally love my group to bits la seriously. C8 FTW!!!!! =D

All right, enough bitching. Back to mugging for forensic science. Fingers crossed.

I seem to like posting at night a lot. So many things have been happening recently, including another large argument with my beloved chemistry department, as well as the shitload of work that's been weighing me down, none of which I will deface my blog with apart from this short paragraph. It's high time I let go of my anger and focused more on my work.

I shall just talk about the nice things in life that have been happening to me. I've been chatting more often with some friends recently and realise that I'm sub-consciously becoming closer to them. Well, actually just one in particular. Doubt you know who you are. You probably won't even read this anyway. Haha. But it really does boost my mood that despite knowing each other only in year 1 for a short while and only getting to talk more often in year 3, we've been able to talk about quite a lot of things.

It's also nice knowing that when you (a different person from the previous paragraph) needed someone, you thought of me. And I really appreciate that. Will give my best. No worries =)

Chingay training starts tomorrow (well, technically it's today. Already past 12am.) but I won't be able to attend my very first training thanks to the three tests I have this week. Haha. But I'm really looking forward to meeting my members! Can't wait!!!! =D

This Sunday is Da Capo 2011!!!! My piccolo playing still like shit la. Totally never practise much this semester. I really should pass the piccolo back to Craig when he comes back next semester. But to all who are interested, Da Capo is this Sunday 5pm at NUS UCC!!!!!! $15/tix... drop me a line if you're interested in coming k?

Ok I'm tired. Shall turn in now. Yawwwwwnnnnnnnzzzzzz.......

Looking forward to your morning call waking me up tomorrow morning. =)

It must be a record. Me blogging on two consecutive days. Haha. Ok let's see what we have today.

Well, of course, first things first. It's my birthday today! Thanks to all who remembered (including those who had a bit of help from a certain networking website... XD)... but really... thanks for all the well wishes!!! much appreciated!

come to think of it, wow. I'm already 23 years old... Omg... Getting old... No wait... I'm not. Age is just a number!!!!!! I will remain young at heart!!!! RAWR!!! XD

This year I really wanna have a day off on my birthday... But there's sectionals tonight... Should I go? Lolz... I really think this year I'm meant to have a day off on my birthday. My birthday falls on my free day and also during my e-learning week! I'm meant to go out and enjoy!!!!!! Hahahaha...

And thanks for the wallet from you guys!!!! You all know who you all are la har... I'm sure you'll read this some time or other... Really love the wallet!!!! =D

As for a present for myself... well... I did get myself the "The Nightmare Before Christmas" iPhone cover from eBay... Been searching for one like that for aaaaaggggggeeeeeesssss... So happy when I finally found it online... Does that count as a birthday present for myself? Or should I indulge myself further? >.< Hahaha...

Ok, shall end here today. Off to enjoy my special day. ^_^

Birthday gift from Gohonzon: Seeing you today. Best gift so far. =)